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  • BlueLanugo
      John Silver @BlueLanugo

    All the hipsters in Hawaii died because they got into lava before it was cool.

    • 334
    • FAVS
    BryainiacOblivionDreambrzandtcharlzeroTacoTitsElZhingon7WhiteMaleashgrash
    • 1,244
    • RETWEETS
    BryainiactylerfconeTacoTitsElZhingon7HilditrutIgorLetLoosetheslapassassin__Mookie2313
    llvvzzkelkulus
  • BlueLanugo
      John Silver @BlueLanugo

    Your call is very important to us. Please enjoy this 40 minute flute solo.

    • 353
    • FAVS
    teenflem321tardisThe_ToniandoesthisnamefiTheFearBoners____SwedenDCcrunchymamajdkasu01
    • 162
    • RETWEETS
    SwedenDCsixfootpianistcarsieblantonBryainiacStealthly_NinjaSeankmanleyTheRobRetort______samelpan
    brzandtGarrettCakeNardster
  • BlueLanugo
      John Silver @BlueLanugo

    Scarlett Johansson can look forward to 7 years bad luck for putting a crack in that mirror.

    • 47
    • FAVS
    BryainiacOblivionDreamJustinDeckerashgrashStexcyTheTennisPhenomkelkulusWhiteMale
    • 170
    • RETWEETS
    Overtinodotxmatrix__Climbmomhenshawinsightouch__ImaBigWreckjaytothegfnallelypadilla
  • BlueLanugo
      John Silver @BlueLanugo

    I envy Bigfoot. My Dad believes in him.

    • 166
    • FAVS
    BryainiacOblivionDreamprimawesomeKaraDTweetsangryczeckSsicChicSnarkToastnativeminnow
    • 50
    • RETWEETS
    JordanSaidThatthequeencrims0nsnubbersupibebethanykahristykinsShawnsta1UP____DrtyHippibitterlittleman
    senderblock23
  • BlueLanugo
      John Silver @BlueLanugo

    People say tofu doesn't taste like anything, but that's untrue. It tastes just like the bitter year I spent dating that bossy vegan.

    • 184
    • FAVS
    OblivionDreamKaraDTweetsreducedtoaschwa__MeghanOBStexcyashgrashTheTennisPhenomkelkulus
    • 10
    • RETWEETS
    323CiscoAglaea_reducedtoaschwa__GreenEyedJedipineywoozletruckstopssssbrandiiioOhSoFarSoGood
  • BlueLanugo
      John Silver @BlueLanugo

    Remembrance Of Things Pabst #hipsterbooks

    • 104
    • FAVS
    melodylanded20_LilTragediesa_willhoffOyVeghJody_WalkerestherwhykimshesthemanAliciaHendley
    • 44
    • RETWEETS
    irenescojonathanwbernarheatherureherepescironicircus_goldfishChadDOTSimondsiNi_KamozeAnnaAnastasia
  • BlueLanugo
      John Silver @BlueLanugo

    I don't like to use the word "problem." I prefer "challenge." Anyway, I think I might have a drinking challenge.

    • 96
    • FAVS
    BryainiacsherrithepeachliveabovehellMeghanOBStexcykelkulusGreenEyedJediWhiteMale
    • 39
    • RETWEETS
    timeaviatorWH1TE_D3VILTheodoh__________martinafan09TexConnecticutjpedrotGaelleVizziniPanTan78
  • BlueLanugo
      John Silver @BlueLanugo

    How about a dating site for people into scrap booking and knitting? We could call it "Craft Singles." What do you think? Too cheesy?

    • 123
    • FAVS
    MeghanOBStexcykelkulusGreenEyedJediWhiteMaletoothlesslukellvvzznavanax
    • 9
    • RETWEETS
    RevScoopDawgJoshuaJBerkDBwiddaDBfavstar1000favsShimmyShimmy_laaahhhrelSacamanoBRLFarmWife
  • BlueLanugo
      John Silver @BlueLanugo

    Just got my MRI results. Fascinating! In the part of my brain where I used to store phone numbers, a tiny skeleton is playing solitaire.

    • 106
    • FAVS
    OblivionDreamWinghamTracyStexcykelkulusJillFenderchrisuxxxicantdrive49NumbForceTrauma
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    karinjrfavstar1000favskevinrowe1ReTwittterrrGreenEyedJedicourtsimoni
  • BlueLanugo
      John Silver @BlueLanugo

    When Lady Gaga wants a new outfit, she covers her body in glue and then sprints through a Salvation Army store.

    • 81
    • FAVS
    BryainiacMono_AsesinoScottHuffNYCStexcykelkulusCapHolzllvvzzlinajk____________
    • 30
    • RETWEETS
    Bryainiac54FilmsjuliedebellisJohmnibus_Rexjhauwlkm_stogsdillFavstar500Favslornaamurphy
  • BlueLanugo
      John Silver @BlueLanugo

    The guy making my hamburger just made eye contact with me and now I feel weird and don't want him touching my food.

    • 71
    • FAVS
    MeghanOBeileenulikMadhaterTLpinktrekkiejennydonoghueWalterHornJackandpelemybuddymichael
    • 34
    • RETWEETS
    KseniaYSeileenulikStineakaStinesherlkop007audrachelle_jarrettTX______SeanLeftCoastIllMakeYouLaugh
  • BlueLanugo
      John Silver @BlueLanugo

    Acorns are so cool. They're like "One day, I shall be a mighty oak but, today, I'm just chillin' in my little hat."

    • 55
    • FAVS
    BryainiacJordaisyjimmydirckLPShanetligonlawamandagebhardtChrispyPaulhoosteeno
    • 37
    • RETWEETS
    _HayleyRichardsFavstar500FavskimcrowbarMis_Lissahmellow2167schboogSwordsman_76jenleighc
  • BlueLanugo
      John Silver @BlueLanugo

    There's sad and then there's Rite-Aid-Manager sad.

    • 87
    • FAVS
    MeghanOBMushutwoThe_TonianWhiteMaleStexcyashgrashkelkulusGreenEyedJedi
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    MeghanOBMushutwotylerfconerichramirez1libertariangal8__
  • BlueLanugo
      John Silver @BlueLanugo

    My neighbor is morbidly obese. I don't know him well; he keeps largely to himself.

    • 90
    • FAVS
    BryainiacGreenEyedJediStexcykelkulusrichramirez1missingblakesllvvzznavanax
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    jamessumneriiiDavidKlein5
  • BlueLanugo
      John Silver @BlueLanugo

    If you have someone "guest tweeting" for you, maybe you should spend your day off trying to get over yourself.

    • 74
    • FAVS
    WhiteMaleStexcykelkulusGreenEyedJedimissingblakesxXxCraigIeroxXxllvvzznavanax
    • 13
    • RETWEETS
    DMac130uFavstar500Favsfavstar_popTonitweets7JudastheDeviousCathiCarolNimrod_Nation____HaveNotWantNot
  • BlueLanugo
      John Silver @BlueLanugo

    Have I ever told you about the gentleman who used to babysit me? It's a touching story...

    • 72
    • FAVS
    BryainiacMono_AsesinoStexcykelkulusMistressMarilee__offender_Bender_Bacon_Tits_Annie_Benedetto
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    Mono_AsesinoJihadPizzaFavstar500Favs
  • BlueLanugo
      John Silver @BlueLanugo

    It's possible to build a club sandwich in one's mouth, one ingredient at a time, by hitting Whole Foods' sample tables in the correct order.

    • 72
    • FAVS
    StexcykelkulusllvvzznavanaxDJMerraliciousDavidKlein5apodixisplfrederick
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Favstar500Favs
  • BlueLanugo
      John Silver @BlueLanugo

    Sorted laundry into whites, bright colors, and frilly shit she'd stab me for ruining.

    • 70
    • FAVS
    StexcykelkulusJihadPizzallvvzzlinajk____________NickadoonavanaxOjoya
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Favstar500Favs
  • BlueLanugo
      John Silver @BlueLanugo

    Just did a 100 crunches -- 50 Pringles, 49 Fritos, and 1 "Cool Ranch" Dorito.

    • 62
    • FAVS
    BryainiacScottHuffNYCkelkulusJihadPizzaGreenEyedJedimissingblakesllvvzznavanax
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    Favstar500Favsfavstar_popipk13MrBrown_Eye__________andy_sell
  • BlueLanugo
      John Silver @BlueLanugo

    I'm not doing push-ups. I'm trying to shove the world away.

    • 62
    • FAVS
    MeghanOBashgrashkelkulusmissingblakesllvvzzkillornapodixisericas_twit
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    Favstar500Favsmore_orderlyMrBigFistsBalutOjoya
@BlueLanugo

@BlueLanugo

What happens when i type words in this box?