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Everything I own is soaked in breastmilk or pee.
New favorite game: Is that liquid I'm sitting in sweat, leaked breast milk, or pee?
Day 10 of having a little crab: husband asked me if I planned on showering today
Does anyone else think it's a little chilly?
Current status: thinking of flushing my phone because I've been stuck on the same level in Candy Crush for a month.
Clothing feels terribly oppressive.
Expecting me to wear clothes seems entirely unreasonable.
Day 12 of back labor: Rosemary, I think I'm carrying your baby. There's been a mixup.
You can't be pregnant forever, right y'all???
I've been pregnant for months now, and it feels like it will never end.
Thanks a lot Obamacare!
The tiny human inside of me is now larger than a watermelon.
Call your mothers and apologize for everything.
Being awake is fucking bullshit.
Day 7 of having contractions and still having to go to work.
There is no way for me to get comfortable. I've tried sitting, standing, lying, kneeling, leaning..
Why did breeding seem like a good idea?
"I'm pretty sure it was doggy style, right honey?"
Oh... apparently the nurse wanted to know the baby's gender... not how we made the baby.
My great aunt pulled me aside to say, "You have really let yourself go lately. It may be time to consider a diet."
I'm 9 months pregnant.
Day 5 of contractions and no baby.
Why do people breed again?