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Put a little sweet tea in your baby's bottle, and you can expect some Yankee will call child protective services.
So much of parenting is dealing with shit.
I made meatloaf surprise for dinner.
The surprise is that it sucks.
After much discussion huzband and I have come up with a solution for our limited budget: we are going to give up eating.
To the A-hole who rang my bell, despite the sign, and woke my baby: May your path be littered with Lego's, may your bed be filled with fleas
I used to have funny things to say on Twitter.
This baby crab got my eyes and her father's gas.
2 babies screaming and crying at once.
Don't tell me I don't know what Vietnam was like.
When you have a sleeping 2 month old, you move around the house as though you are trying not to set off a bomb
I just searched "how to successfully negotiate with a 2 year old" and got no results.
"Well officer, I was speeding because I have a baby in the back seat."
"Is that poop or chocolate?"
I had no idea that I'd be asking that question so frequently.
Easter is right around the corner. Here's Food Babe to shit on all your plans. http://foodbabe.com/2012/10/10/does-your-favorite-candy-have-gmos/ …
Accessorizing with dog hair and spit up.
Everything I own is soaked in breastmilk or pee.
New favorite game: Is that liquid I'm sitting in sweat, leaked breast milk, or pee?
Day 10 of having a little crab: husband asked me if I planned on showering today