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Your 12 month old can say "mama"?
Oh that's cute.
My 11 month old has been able to recite the declaration of Independence for weeks now.
Happy New Year! I just juiced everything I could find in my kitchen, including the neighbor's cat.
I wish I was as broke as I thought I was before I had kids.
I have stacks and stacks of books on minimalism.
A stranger said "hello" to my daughter and she burst into tears and tried to climb up me to get away.
She's definitely mine.
Just frantically searching amazon for a baby jail, what are you up to?
Baking pies, cookies, and brownies in the middle of the night because fucking Christmas.
If you're stressed and you know it, eat your feelings!
I guess I'll start taking down the Halloween decorations, and put out Thanksgiving.
All I want for Christmas is for teething to end.
All I want for Christmas is for the UPS guy to stop ignoring the "baby is sleeping" sign on my doorbell.
All I want for Christmas is a long winter's nap.
All I want for Christmas is decent dental insurance.
It's amazing how hard I have to work so that my house looks like a mess instead of like a wreck.
Y'all keep tweeting about sex.
I guess it's safe to assume you don't live with small children.
Singing the goodnight song for the fourth time means that it is not a good night.