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Just frantically searching amazon for a baby jail, what are you up to?
Baking pies, cookies, and brownies in the middle of the night because fucking Christmas.
If you're stressed and you know it, eat your feelings!
I guess I'll start taking down the Halloween decorations, and put out Thanksgiving.
All I want for Christmas is for teething to end.
All I want for Christmas is for the UPS guy to stop ignoring the "baby is sleeping" sign on my doorbell.
All I want for Christmas is a long winter's nap.
All I want for Christmas is decent dental insurance.
It's amazing how hard I have to work so that my house looks like a mess instead of like a wreck.
Y'all keep tweeting about sex.
I guess it's safe to assume you don't live with small children.
Singing the goodnight song for the fourth time means that it is not a good night.
I'll say what everyone else is thinking: Calliou is a little shit.
Babysitting for a friend so she can get wild and crazy on a Tuesday night. Meanwhile, I'm in my bathrobe holding babies, and sipping tea.
An old lady asked me if my baby was my granddaughter, so I've got that going for me.
Put a little sweet tea in your baby's bottle, and you can expect some Yankee will call child protective services.
So much of parenting is dealing with shit.
I made meatloaf surprise for dinner.
The surprise is that it sucks.