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Whoever said money can't buy happiness never walked into a liquor store..
Pro Tip: if you have to walk up to a bar & ask "what is good" your ass shouldn't be IN a bar!
If a married couple has sex at 11:55pm & it rolls past 12:01am that's considered 2 days of sex, right?!
Oh. My. Just in case I don't wake up tomorrow twitter; the cause of death is squeaky toxic dog farts.
Son: Can I have a cookie
Me: Cookies aren't for breakfast!
Son: *huffs away*
Me: *shrug* *eats cookie*
In Missouri a man needs a permit to shave..
6:30 and I am plowed. This may be a record! I say may be because I still have a few days
Married, SAHM of 2 kiddos, Fitness Fanatic, Twitter-holic, Blogger, A Sweet & Sarcastic Bitch, Lover. I Fart Glitter & Shit Rainbows. Be Jealous!