@therealgdubya You started this shit, asshole.

I'm going to make it my personal mission in life to tease overly serious people. Myself included. Get your head out of your ass, pal!

This one guy is sticking his tongue out on his profile picture. He's either really good at oral or he's an idiot. I'm guessing the latter.

I hate being a Gemini. Why couldn't I have been another fucked up sign of the zodiac?

Can I call in dead?

Sad is better than dead, or dead inside. #Bones

I have no cable and no Internet! I'm forced to masturbate to entertain myself!

Rest in peace MCD.

One fat old cat laying near the top of my head and a 7.5 week old kitten sleeping at the crook of my neck.

This is heaven.

Hey, it's @pimpbillclinton http://t.co/5MXaotXP

I'm leaving this one guy hanging - I want to see what his stamina is in the morning.

My Dad passed away 23 years ago today on this Saturday. I miss him everyday. Thankfully I inherited his sense of humor, minus the perviness.

Oh and hottest piece of clothing on a man---a white wife beater. That is all.

Incognito banana eating... http://twitpic.com/3pz2rs

@bigbirdromney YOU DON'T MESS WITH BIG BIRD. Fuck Romney!

I don't think so.

Nope. Not related to ding dongs.

I’m related to assholes.

Best chocolate ever! http://t.co/9jXe3xFO

Chris Brown doesn't deserve to win. He should not pass go but rather proceed directly to jail for being a piece of shit who beats women.

PATS WILL PULL A COME FROM BEHIND VICTORY. Who doesn't like to come from behind!??