There are, like, no boobs at the Olympics.

Word. #cantholdmedown pic.twitter.com/Vo65RRHi

I'm just a boob standing in front of a bra, asking it to support her.

I could win a gold medal. I have an impeccable breast stroke. #Olympics #leftboob

You betta check yo self before you erect yo self. #nippleraps #icecube

It's hard out there on the streets for a boob. #JugLife

Feeling' good was good enough for me. Good enough for me and my Booby McGee. #leftboob #karaoke

I'm a boob *points to avi* duh “@briannamartinez: I have weird followers like who are you guys omg”

Boobtastic and baby pictures get the most "likes" on Facebook. I've done extensive research*


*scrolled through newsfeed

Nothing compares to that feeling you get when you take off a bra.

I feel under appreciated. I'm a source of food AND can be used as a flotation device. Or a pillow. #Boobs

"Prepare thy chambers..." This is something I say every morning before putting on my bra. #boobs #boobsthattalk

I just put on a nude bra. I feel so naked. #leftboob #predicament

Sometimes, in the shower, I sing "Bad" and pretend I wrote the lyrics. #leftboob #whosbad #michaeljackson

Look at this boob! Isn't it neat? Wouldn't you say this is one sexy teet? Wouldn't you think I'm the girl, the girl who has double D's!

Seriously, Michael Phelps should challenge me. I'd breaststroke the shit out of the pool! #leftboob

"These fishsticks are hard as tits." Uh huh....

Nickelback, Watching Golf, Mold in the shower, Mosquito bites... #ThingsILikeMoreThanBreastExams

I should live-tweet my first mammogram. #leftboob

#rightboob kept asking me who "A" is on Pretty Little Liars. I told her it was her cup size. #leftboob