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I'm a mover and shaker. Whenever I move, I shake.
I like falling asleep listening to tv. Tonight I'm listening to passion of the Christ.
Just got my cholesterol result. It was "butter". Is that bad?
Is gravy a vegetable?
Plan on hitting the gym today. By "hitting the gym" I mean going thru the Taco Bell drive-thru.
Confused: why DID Al Gore start global warming? He shoulda quit after inventing the internet.
If I confuse my left nut with my right one, am I Lesdyxic?
You know you are in a hotel in AL when you call the front desk and say you got a leak in your sink, and the desk clerk says Go Ahead.
Staying in bed all day with your laptop = cyber-nating. #twords
#youlookedgooduntil you opened your mouth
I finished angry birds. Is that it? I can't see starting another version of the same game. I have a callus on my finger & I'm angry at birds
Wife got home full of energy. Now the white bathroom is blue.
You have to be kidding me. I hover around 50 followers and a fucking snake has 122000. It can't even talk. Or type. Well I can't type either
There are over 50,000 battered women in the US. I still eat mine plain.
People get hurt running from the bulls. They should try something safer...like chasing a wheel of cheese down a hill.
My wife would shoot me if she saw how wrinkled my pants are. I'm the man though. Plus she's not on twitter.
It takes some time for users to find their twitter voice...i finally found mine...Fred Flintstone
13 yo techie son and I have decided to build an Android app as kinda a father-son fun/cool thing.
Wow, how nerdy is that?
Greek. Computer engineer. Awesome dad. Sharp wit. Short sentences. Crazy wife @beachbunnyjr Smartass. Quirky humor. Juvenile sometimes. Nascar Junkie