There's no b,c,d,f,g,h,j,k,l,n,o,p,q,r,s,u,v,w,x,y, or z in team either.

The first rule of Spice Girls club is: You've got to tell me what you want, what you really really want.

I'm making a Robot out of two coconuts, pipe cleaners and my cat. World domination seems believable now.

When I eat a snickers, I cry. Nothing ever satisfies me and false advertising hurts me deep down.

Math Problem: You have 8 bananas.
I ate 3 of your bananas.

Can I eat the other 5?

If I put my finger in your belly button and it gets stuck, that means we're engaged and I love you.

I'm not lazy, it's just that the couch is my BFF & his BFF is the tv & the tv talks a lot. So I sit there and listen because I'm not rude.

I would arm wrestle my cat, but his elbows bend weird.

I like to finish what I started and that's basically my excuse for eating all the cake.

Hipsters drink their coffee as quickly as possible before it becomes cool.

I'm not scared of clowns but I am scared of girls who wear their make up as if they were one.

I stay in the Bathtub until I wrinkle up like a prune. Then I'll walk around my house touching things so I know what it feels like to be old

Just drew little faces on all my fingers and now I've got ten new friends who all want to party.

the angriest I get is when I don't have a straw to blow bubbles in my chocolate milk.

Pretend I'm cake, then love me.

Just mowed the neighbors lawn with a flamethrower.

You know what's better than a piece of cake?
Two pieces of cake.
It's simple math, really.

Three things you should know about me:

1) I like to eat pizza
2) I really like cheese pizza
3) Could somebody please order me some pizza

I don't understand why you ask me questions like, "Would you like a cookie?"
Of course I want a cookie.
All I've ever wanted, is a cookie.

This bus driver's acting all jealous of me because I can get off the bus.