Chapter 5 of my book on business is 23 pages of me describing the scene in Road House when the monster truck destroys that car dealership.

Call me a cynical, but M*A*S*H really jumped the shark with the episode involving Hawkeye nursing a Korean Bigfoot back to health

I don't really have the motivation to become Batman...but I'm very close to throwing bricks at the cars of shitty drivers.

I don't make the rules, I break them... and by "rules" I mean "Red Vines", and by "break" I mean "eat"

I woke up convinced I was going to get super powers from a radioactive spider today. Instead I pigged out on Japanese food. Maybe tomorrow

FACT: I'd go to a lot more "Farmer's Markets" if they sold booze and used books.

Just watched the director's cut of "Problem Child"... the alternate ending where Ritter sells the kid to Somali pirates was an odd choice

My newest concoction: 2 Centrum Cardio's chased with a double shot of Vodka. I call it: A Thursday Evening

FACT: The 'T' in Craig T Nelson's name stands for 'The'

FACT: A surprisingly large percentage of my favorite memories involve me scoring free food.

I don't really have the energy to fake a crop circle, but if someone has a small garden, I might be persuaded to walk through it.

I'm dreading the day when SETI gets a signal from the depths of space that simply repeats the request: "More Smash Mouth Albums Please"

Sammy Hagar will lie n tell you he's gone hang gliding. But trust me, it's REALLY not worth calling him on it, unless you wanna waste 3 hrs

FACT: I'd drink a lot more V8 if they replaced the vegetable juice with Dr. Pepper

I've been ostracized from the paranormal investigation community because my core motivation remains- "To do it with a hot ghost"

FACT: Yahoo Serious is trying to make a comeback as Yahoo ForReals

Hollywood Fact #211: Vin Diesel changed his name when he came to Hollywood. He was born "Vincent Regular Unleaded"

@aliciahawkes @annazipper @themightyfool @karentozzi @bin4themind @spaterpeter @sanndoo @everettsloane Frenz indeed!

I'm just living my life one episode of "River Monsters" at a time.

My favorite Quantum Leap is the 1 where Sam leaps into the body of Scott Bakula and is forced to film a horrible football movie with Sinbad