@Brain_Wash's (Sociopathetic) recent favourites. See who @Brain_Wash favs the most...
I promised myself once spring came I'd take up jogging. I hate letting myself down but I can't believe I believed myself in the first place.
The ad guys sit around coming up with slogans for a new brand of soup. Is this stuff any good? Lee asks. And there is laughter. And tears.
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And by the way, I didn't mean to dissuade the rest of you from making drink suggestions. I'm an equal opportunity alcoholic (i.e., a dad).
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I'm glad my big ass at least isn't an ass on top of an ass. How some women can get through a door amazes me w/ the amount of hump back there
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You know what would go great with this woman's vast coupon collection and ability to write a check uber slow? A fucking knife wound.
I think my time would be better spent planning the ultimate heist, instead of slowly working my way into an early grave.
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The boy was helping me rake all day so there's a good chance he'll be asleep by 8. Probability of sex 76%. I'm raising my penis to Defcon 3.
Pro Tip: If you aren't prepared to explain the birds & the bees, cougars, or moobs, don't go to the zoo on the first day of spring.
The 1st rule of Fight Club is: No one ever addresses how homoerotic Fight Clubs are.
The 2nd rule is: No girls allowed.
The 2nd rule is: No girls allowed.
This youth group broke the number one cardinal rule of making money at a Car Wash.
They let the fat chick hold the car wash sign.
They let the fat chick hold the car wash sign.
"So I am really like the vertex of this love triangle." "Wow you just combined math & porn, that's hot."
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