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What a beauuutiful day to get totally hammered #stpats
This bitch in the Prius is lucky I was on twitter n didn't notice her trying to cut infront of me .. #RiversideRoadRage
Ok how do u ask ur date what his name is .. Without it seeeeming like u don't remember what his name is ? Got myself into a doozy here.
I don't know why old people insist on sealing envelopes like there's fucking gold inside . Seriously. Easy on the tape there grandma.
Jef, I'm totally effing in love with you . #losergiddy #bachelorette
Toys R Us should be completely segregated by age... So I know my exact maturity level as I have a frigging BALL with alllll of these toys!
Omg I was just searching in my car for my keys.... I'm driving . #nobraincellsleft
Wtf, it's Friday? Didn't dress casually, actually been doing work, and packed food instead of beer for lunch. #needtogetmyheadinthegame
Take it easy gramps in the next car scolding me for txting n driving. Yea now I'm tweeting m driving. #howdoyalikethemapples
Car got broken into.u mean to tell me they didnt want anny of my burnt CDs entitled "rap","rock n roll","country",orr my umbrella? #shocking
Is there ever a Sat or Sunday morning that I don't wake up, giggle to myself and whisper "I'm the best."? #seriouslythebest
that awkward moment when you send a fucking novel of a txt msg TO the person ur talking about.. #imadud
Oh god. I need some attention. Just shamelessly flirted with the Walmart checkout guy. #hewasntevenhot