Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
[Walks up to family with 5 kids]
Don't you think all of this
*motions to 5 kids*
Is a little excessive?
How many more of these World Series thingies are there after Game 7?
World Series observation: Just noticed that every single player has a different number.
If I allow you to only have one voice, that's ENABLING
The Elvis jumpsuit claims "one size fits most". Most non-Elvis-sized people, I guess. I can't wait to let it all hang out.
So, I got transformed into Hedwig. http://www.buzzfeed.com/louispeitzman/hedwig-and-the-angry-inch-makeup-tutorial … @hedwigonbway pic.twitter.com/FY621PSvKi
If we don't have a butt emoji by 2016, we have failed as a society. May the aliens reign upon us and strike us down where we stand.
we are like two headlines away from pope francis declaring himself an atheist
My coworker won't decorate her cubicle for Halloween yet she has a nativity scene up and all of those people are way dead and ghosts by now.
I'll never resign from Twitter. Just gonna wait until I get impeached.
My wife and I just made a sex tape! She was the lookout while I filmed the neighbors through their curtains.
Every time I go to a mechanic, I eat ice cream while I wait. Then, if he says it looks like I blew a seal, I can say, "no, that's ice cream"