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Hozier should follow up with a version of Take Me Out To The Ballgame
Lost 30 pounds since the year started. It's been an amazing journey from Extra Fat to Still Pretty Fat, can't wait to see what's next.
Music Trivia: 90s rock band Korn contained no pieces of actual korn
Beyonce doesn't even follow Jay Z on here. That marriage is doomed.
The ladies call me "Actual Size" because of the way I choose to email photos
Great to be home. It's exhausting being a legend. The dog and the cat were happy to see us back.
Eggs are extremely versatile. For instance, you can throw them at your neighbor's car. Or your neighbor's kid. Or even your neighbor's dog.
I'm doing a juice cleanse.
But with carbs.
And no juice.
IPAs all taste like they've developed a natural defense to people wanting to drink them.
Frightening if literal: boob man
sometimes i wish i knew how to fly a plane so i could write my awesome tweets in the sky
*watches beautiful sunset creep slowly behind my laptop I've been watching Netflix on for 13 hours*
I sharted on an airplane once, and got double the frequent flyer miles and a free night at a Marriott.
I'm sorry I accidentally summoned falcons to your husband's funeral by doing roundhouse kicks. It's just how I grieve.
music, improv, other http://t.co/Tss96eiIww
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