Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
*walks up to Target cashier*
Yes, I would like to return these dad jeans. I wore them for a month straight and he still hasn’t come back.
I ham good
I just found out the term "taxi cab" is short for "Taxiderm Cabernet."
I'm watching Cosmos again. Yes, twice in one night. Can't get enough.
If I don't reach all my goals and dreams by 30 years old I swear I'll move back in with my parents!
I have the biggest crush on the universe
Every time I stand up I get dizzy. Tee hee hee I'm so quirky!
I'm confused about my sexuality. Mostly: why don't I have any?
Nothing worse than people who are rude to waiters. Or ppl who are rude to any service workers. Or just ppl who are rude. People in general.
Jumped on a large poodle at the park and road it for 8 minutes, 10/10 would recommend
EVERYBODY SHUT UP I'M WATCHING COSMOS
You know why we tweet egg sometimes here? I do
I'm your 600 Pound Mom