R.I.P. people who were inside of a vehicle when it became a transformer.

The last thing I need is a coffin.

We can't be friends if you've ever slam-dunked someone's decapitated head. That's the rule.

The most romantic thing I've ever done is get a girl's name tattooed on my grandpa.

Cars should quit showing off and just let dogs catch them.

Whales must see jumbo jets flying in the sky and be like, "oh shit, that's probably what I'm gonna evolve into."

I hate you mom and dad! *shaves off one eyebrow*

Oh nothing, just ironing my horse's cape.

I'm the proud owner of 1 praying mantis for as long as he can hold on to the windshield while I'm driving.

I'd like to fire the staff of writers that come up with my dreams. It's like season 26 and I still have no idea what's going on.

"I don't support pants." - gravity

My first cup of coffee gives me the energy I need to drink my second cup of coffee.

I can go zero to 60 in 60 years.

These notebooks need to move on with their lives. Yeah "College Ruled", get over it. You're in the real world now.