If Crunch Berries aren't considered fresh fruit I don't think this diet is going to work out.

Officially own cowboy boots...It's not considered country if you have more than 7 tattoos though...look it up in the rule book

There's no place like home. (to poop)

I should run for political office just to see what kind of scandalous dirt they dig up. It would be nice to piece together my twenties.

If we start calling it 'potato juice', Vodka becomes a health drink. RIGHT??

I clearly make poor decisions because I'm watching Twilight...*sigh*

Fuuuuuuuuuuddddddddgggggggeee

fixing to punchasize somebody's face

Let’s just call a vacation what it is: the opportunity to live like an alcoholic for a little while.

We're like hot chocolate and marshmallows. You're hot and I want to be on top of you......

anyone else's Nana call them a whore? Just mine? Wow...Nana is a bitch...but at least she's honest...props Nana...mad props

my husband's favorite color on me is cellophane :)

How embarrassing! I tripped and fell out of my clothes

In the need to get into some trouble of the PG-13 variety...oh hell I'll go for R and add a curse words or 6 and boobs!

@sirflushalot ha!

@muthafuckinben haha belting out the Foreigner

@mishakey mine too *burp*

@notmarkoliver yes sir! I'm on it! :)

somewhat big TEXAS hair :)  http://instagr.am/p/OM0SOGGMPD/ 

Yep, we're adorkable!  http://instagr.am/p/OH6jnNmMF-/