The Rock is poly

"We have already captured your Superman--please RT!"

"We have already captured your Superman--The Aristocrats!" #thanksdylan

"We have already captured your Superman--and you're going to need a bigger boat!"

"We have already captured your Superman--by switching to Geico!"

"We have already captured your Superman--and all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death!"

"We have already captured your Superman--and I specifically ordered persian rugs with cherub imagery!!!"

You can prepend that to pretty much any sentence and get something great. "We have already captured your Superman--and I'm not even hungry!"

Just glimpsed over the shoulder of someone's bus Kindle: "The prisoner will face Soviet justice. We have already captured your Superman--"

Some lawyers think they're writing code. Many coders think they're writing law.

@nemomeme hahahahaha

@calamityjon "Siri, I'm going to hum a few bars."

I just received the single most sarcastic subject line in the history of email http://t.co/fi06qyhj

@korybing I have come up with literally 48 nicknames for Magnolia and she has never acknowledged a single one of them

okay the hourly music is not enough WHERE IS THE LIVESTREAM WHERE I CAN WATCH SOMEONE PLAY ANIMAL CROSSING ALL DAY

"To me there is more jeopardy in an exchange of looks than in a nuclear missile." http://t.co/E5LZ95In

@jennymundy According to Google, you have just established the first recorded use of the phrase "subtle hamster voice"

@spinooti that is the movie that turned me into a lesbian

To protect your eyes from corona radiation during the eclipse, move to Portland where it's too cloudy to see the fucking sun anyway

hey PORTLAND who wants to go fucking DANCING