Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
If I worked at Frito Lay, I would fart in a chip bag right before it was sealed.
#ThingsaStalkerWouldSay The condoms in your nightstand are expired.
Goodnight Colorado. I've never been in you before today. You're beautiful....
Oh my god. Tropical Storm Ernesto? I better go buy out Publix of water, non perishables, and smutty novels.
I hate it when a log is half way out and your rectum says "psyche", diarrhea, beeotch!
Dear Florida news outfits, what's actually newsworthy is you thinking the discovery of a meth lab anywhere in Florida, to be newsworthy.
I just watched Vin Diesel beat up The Rock and now I don't believe in Santa Clause or the Easter Bunny. My life is a lie...
What's the water : listerine ratio for the "Anti-Cavity in Your Cavity Cleanse?"
Gonna get my tongue and butthole pierced this weekend. It's a 2 for 1 sale. Tongue first though...
These are just a couple maracas I made with your nail clippings. #ThingsaStalkerWouldSay
You should really get that mole looked at. #ThingsaStalkerWouldSay
I think that Adele/Kelly Clarkson 69 might resemble a pile of yet to be kneaded pizza dough.
"Ain't nothin' but a drawstring bay-bay" - Dr Drapery
I hate when people find out I love heavy metal or hardcore music, then try to talk to me about Nickelback and Disturbed. #DaFuckOuttaHere
Wow. I forgot how douche-y all you college football fanatics are.
Bacon. Beer. Heavy Metal. New Zealand. Nachos. Lemonheads. My Dad's boat. Peanut Butter. Tattoos