Funny story: I told most of these people to "get off the stage." Yay @scoresbycomedy!
RT @jenbloods: florenceimprov: http://t.co/NRAj9EoE

Happy International Women's Day, everyone! RT @josecanseco: @jen415 my mother is dead you bitch

@eblarden "Fall, then figure out how to be a Masturbating Bear on the way down." --- Del Close

“@syracusechiefs: Pre-game music you want to hear tomorrow.... GO!” Anything off the Spice World soundtrack. Anything.

Tonight is @scoresbycomedy's last show in New York before @cifest. You're gonna regret not coming to @thepit if the @chicagobears kidnap us.

Man, aliens are gonna be so jealous once they hear we figured out how to communicate using GIFs.

SPOILER ALERT: In honor of #GameofThrones, @scoresbycomedy will shit out a shadow tonight @magnettheater at 8:30pm. http://t.co/xXDcLZby

So excited about @scoresbycomedy playing @haroldnight tomorrow that my body is in CONSTANT pain! #infunuenza

It's great to see that you understand Twitter about as much as you understand journalism. RT @rupertmurdoch: @rupertmurdoch

The last couple @eblarden tweets, when taken together, suggest he's hitting on a 5-year-old who is trendy and Italian. Well done, sir!

SCORESBY @magnettheater tomorrow at 6pm! Don't be dog buns--come see the show. @tonydac and @eblarden will be there!

"Arugula" sounds like what a Japanese monster shouts at people.

Tonight at 8pm at Triple Crown, SCORESBY (@dunnecommajenny, @eblarden, @tonydac and @danawhite) bearhugs independence http://j.mp/iRnC3S

Photo: Happy Suther’s Day  http://tmblr.co/ZcKONykpZBa9 

"The people of New Haven were restlessly eager to meet their new mayor--a man of principle who also ate pubes." #WorstOpeningLinesofNovels

Classiest impromptu workspace ever. pic.twitter.com/GHRFjJoa8g

Restored my iPod Touch. Found this waiting for me on Safari. pic.twitter.com/1ltH061Zmp

Just confirmed that @staceymolski has the best Internet mustache detection system in town. Awesome.

As far as I know the @scoresbycomedy show is still on tonight @magnettheater. And as far as I know @tonydac is super ticklish #SCORESecrets

Lotta rumors flying around so I need to clarify: Tonight's @scoresbycomedy show @thepit will NOT feature Tank Cat  http://i.imgur.com/PcTYCFc.jpg