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Willie Nelson busted for pot possession. Related news, Cops issued an APB for the immediate apprehension of the sky for being blue.
That was my favorite presidential speech since Bill Pullman inspired me to fight aliens.
We are SCREWED. Mitt just flip-flopped and said his states are BLUE! Now he's gonna win.
The fact that Anakin used the Force during the race means he can never be in the Podracing Hall of Fame. Also he murdered all those people.
Last minute idea: Bin Laden Ghost Hologram. Obama rushes out in a Ghostbuster uniform, takes him down while OOPS I DID IT AGAIN plays.
I'm assuming at 1 point, you guys shook hands? RT @realdonaldtrump Obama is our unlucky President. Everything he touches turns into a mess.
Why is "RIP JUSTIN BIEBER" trending? That's an evil lie. He ain't gonna rest in peace. Not for what he's done. NOT FOR WHAT HE'S DONE.
"GUNS DON'T KILL CATS, CURIOSITY KILLS CATS" - The @nra quickly trying to confuse people with a new press conference.
That lead girl in BRAVE could have solved her problems so much quicker if she just asked a boy for help.
Spider-Man on Broadway. Stopped short near end. Someone took nasty fall. Screaming. 911 called. No idea what happened, kicked audience out.
Last PEANUTS strip should have been Charlie Brown going to talk and only Wah Waah Waaaah coming out, making him realize childhood is over.
Charlie Sheen just ousted Mel Gibson as the mayor of Crazytown on @foursquare!
What annoys frogs most about FROGGER? The weird name or making light of a very real problem?
Jar Jar Binks as a trending topic for 3 straight days is more a sign of the apocalypse than thousands of dead birds falling from the sky.
All those dead deer on the highway are disturbing. And my wife was right, putting those red noses on them did NOT help.
Franco looked preoccupied, but keep in mind he did a cameo on CSI, wrote a novella, and performed an appendectomy during the show.
Fun fact: someone needs to make a movie called RGO and put it in a box set with FARGO, ARGO, GO and O. In that order.
Look at it this way, @chuckwoolery . Your party will get another chance in Two and Two.
Meg Whitman discovered the position of governer does not have a "Buy it Now" option.
Screenwriter: Hop, Puss in Boots, Minions coming in 2014. Comic Writer: Angel, Spike, Ninja Turtles. Handsome genius, no big whoop.
Stats can't be shown as @BrianLynch has never signed in to Favstar.
