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Did anyone ever stop to ask if Less is Mormon?
If Roger Goodell's face gets any redder, he'll end up on Washington's helmets with a feather in his hair.
This Orlando Bloom vs. Justin Bieber fight has to come to a conclusion so we finally know who is tougher: elves or fairies.
Canada Day is the one day of the year that Canadian babies are safe from the White Walkers.
Guys, lets not get too bent out of shape over Tila Tequila supporting Nazis. She also supported Insane Clown Posse. We know which is worse.
This lasercock I had installed seemed like a great idea, but they didn't tell me laserpussies haven't been invented yet. :(
I saw #ValKilmer trending and assumed he had announced that he had diabetes.
Just when I thought Bono couldn't get any douchier, he got a facelift, got frosted hair and became the lead singer for #Nickelback.
Andy Reid's pancake-based conditioning program is really backfiring in the postseason.
Clint Eastwood is the surprise speaker at the #RNC. I assume he's starring the in GOP's latest film "Any Which Way But Ron Paul." #ronpaul
Stand up comic, writer, former donkey show reviewer. Probably a genius.