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  • BrickShitHaus
      Brick @BrickShitHaus

    *I rub a lamp and a genie arises*

    "You have 1 wish." He says.

    I wish for 1 million followers!!

    *Genie favorites but doesn't reply*

    • 123
    • FAVS
    TraneWreck4DudeInABearSuitShanusMcAnusmhrwzInc__bbbbuttTotallyAnalogtaytay_smittyMortShootReport
    • 55
    • RETWEETS
    Mahmoud_RotanLMarieJ94Melaniee_EllennmattvecchihomewrekdShitonyaChestsaraaemilyyspcycucumber
  • BrickShitHaus
      Brick @BrickShitHaus

    *Guns N' Roses riding bikes together*

    *Axl Rose falls*

    "Owe! My sha-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na KNEES! KNEES!"

    • 51
    • FAVS
    ShanusMcAnusCiaran_OSgayapparelCornOnTheGoblinYungCoconutadmungDirt_McGurt______acemulholland
    • 46
    • RETWEETS
    Favstar500FavsqueenofkaijugayapparelShelbyTheFerretmurphyxoDirt_McGurt______fIorestreIa______UncleMalama
    slacks_stacks
  • BrickShitHaus
      Brick @BrickShitHaus

    "You coming rock climbing?"

    That's not my cup of tea.

    "It's not? Damn... Oh, here's your tea."

    Thanks. But yeah I'll come rock climbing.

    • 30
    • FAVS
    Skullcatyaneezy_nolar_bearsydney_swampThisThat_Etc______ChanyNixonLauraMae314159TBocka
    • 19
    • RETWEETS
    yaneezy_nolar_bearThisThat_Etc______tyrantasorussirpickellJade_Euan94Brampersandon_ThaLastBagel
    Poopy_Pizza_Pal
  • BrickShitHaus
      Brick @BrickShitHaus

    SEARCH HISTORY:

    Funny puns

    Good jokes to tweet

    How to gain followers

    How to delete Twitter account

    Least painful suicide methods

    • 23
    • FAVS
    _LIGHTANwegalwegalcarfireGodOfSweatpantsDrunk_Canucklionprincessvalgothhandjobandrewhyde
    • 10
    • RETWEETS
    wegalwegalvick4r0r4whorejotDudeInABearSuitAslam_H4PTFO10076_fuck3d_up_k1dvvuhsachee
  • BrickShitHaus
      Brick @BrickShitHaus

    *Ted takes a drag off a cigarette*

    You're addicted.

    "Why am I a dick?"

    No you're ADDICTED.

    "WHY AM I A DICK"

    • 19
    • FAVS
    DirtyHarryBDbritt_bratt07MarkusJsydney_swampc2caseySconyTarpittiNicococola23______PeteSnacks
    • 12
    • RETWEETS
    DirtyHarryBDMarkusJmhrwzInc__Mufasa_JesusBlckMichaelCeraCheese_Pilemeowdejaillumigotchi
  • BrickShitHaus
      Brick @BrickShitHaus

    I read a comic in which Marmaduke gets another dog pregnant. Guess you could say he got Marmalade.

    *Crickets*

    I'll be here all week.

    • 22
    • FAVS
    DudeInABearSuitRileyBlayWienerTobogganSkullcatLennoxTrumanBrickShitHaussydney_swampc2casey
    • 8
    • RETWEETS
    WienerTobogganCheese_PilehipstersandwichmhrwzInc__THK1965stump_dumpinthelewdPoopy_Pizza_Pal
  • BrickShitHaus
      Brick @BrickShitHaus

    Hey girl, ready to reduce the planets of the Solar System down to seven? Because I'm about to destroy Uranus.

    • 23
    • FAVS
    chebzfatherperegrinejosePhDhorannivlaGnoraACheeseboy22thelectricbitchMobyTitssingingdoves13
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    MobyTitsNahdude83TeejayRushfro_voViagra_UserAvatar_unknown_48
  • BrickShitHaus
      Brick @BrickShitHaus

    Babe, our relationship is like doing push-ups on your knees, it's just not working out.

    • 17
    • FAVS
    DudeInABearSuitslacks_stacksSkullcatsydney_swampsamelpanfjuckingc2caseyphilyuck
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    CuteButt111pelijah_alpacanineColonel_TrillDank_Pal__sadclone
  • BrickShitHaus
      Brick @BrickShitHaus

    Who's the idiot who decided to call it a loud orgasm and not a sperm wail.

    • 17
    • FAVS
    DudeInABearSuitiamelnecosadcloneunbub_Maxterballsydney_swampc2caseyladybroseph
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    sydney_swampstump_dumpSeriousBrisketPoopy_Pizza_Pal
  • BrickShitHaus
      Brick @BrickShitHaus

    [Drag Race]

    "I go here?"

    [Continues toward left track]

    You're on the right track

    [Driver thinks hes doing things correctly]

    No the RIGH

    • 14
    • FAVS
    TeejayRusharlizceDannyF147bond_blombshellTJ_Srevlisthewooden69notaloginsirpickell
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    TeejayRushnotaloginfro_vo
  • BrickShitHaus
      Brick @BrickShitHaus

    Who's the idiot who decided to call them female tourists and not Tourettes?

    • 11
    • FAVS
    Skullcatyung_alimonysydney_swampLennoxTrumanc2caseyBrampersandon_mike_rougasColonel_Trill
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    sydney_swampColonel_TrillwillluminatiPoopy_Pizza_Pal
  • BrickShitHaus
      Brick @BrickShitHaus

    MOM: What are you up to today?
    "I'm going skating mom"
    MOM: Hope you have fun
    "I'm gonna halve a ball!"
    [Kid destroys nut sack on rail]

    • 7
    • FAVS
    punmagnatedet0urstedturver1McTanglerubyrada_BeesthegamePoopy_Pizza_Pal
    • 7
    • RETWEETS
    yunghushpuppysuchg0ldgeilannndet0ursrubyrada_BeesthegamePoopy_Pizza_Pal
  • BrickShitHaus
      Brick @BrickShitHaus

    Bucket List:

    - Container (To hold water)
    - String (Bucket handle)
    - Screws (Attach handle to bucket)

    Congrats you made your first bucket.

    • 10
    • FAVS
    natashaw771erikantevenViagra_UserDanGerQuinntampa_jackKylaCRobinsonheypeeps74Yoyocobra69
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    tor_92_vgphatYoyocobra69danjan13
  • BrickShitHaus
      Brick @BrickShitHaus

    Welcome to the 1st meeting of Silent Club. Let's discuss rules shall we? The first rule?

    *No response*

    By God I've broken the only rule.

    • 11
    • FAVS
    PowerTwerkBenA_69TrinabeaneVersacheetospartiepigRowdySailboatjimmymoreyRickiRawkhardyo
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    evid_francispartiepigCheese_Pile
  • BrickShitHaus
      Brick @BrickShitHaus

    Give a man a sticker and he'll place it on something.
    Teach a man to Sticker even though he hardly even knows her.

    • 10
    • FAVS
    Skullcatsydney_swampc2caseyColonel_TrillhipstersandwichtrashbitburtnikeithGrowlyGrego
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    trashbitmhrwzInc__GrowlyGregoPoopy_Pizza_Pal
  • BrickShitHaus
      Brick @BrickShitHaus

    Dad there's a monster under my bed!!!

    *Dad bursts in and forgets I sleep in a bunk bed with my sister*

    "Lol good one."

    *Dad hi-fives me*

    • 9
    • FAVS
    atanenhaus23_LiesExampleGiraffeconnordoinworkLowkeyTwitsMasonPR1DillDoesgato_fumando______
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    TimColeman94ExampleGiraffegato_fumando______
  • BrickShitHaus
      Brick @BrickShitHaus

    Sticks and stones may break my bones but they can also be arranged into the shape of a penis.

    • 9
    • FAVS
    Skullcatstr8outaCompUSAsydney_swampc2caseyGrowlyGregoadrenalinekushKickHollandm_i_n_e_s
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    sydney_swampGrowlyGregoPoopy_Pizza_Pal
  • BrickShitHaus
      Brick @BrickShitHaus

    "The beauty is that not only is it a wiener, it is also a toboggan."

    I'll take it!

    *Dealer hands me the keys to my new Wiener Toboggan*

    • 7
    • FAVS
    leifromloihisirpickellDJ_PiddlesDustinAHarkinsWienerTobogganMacar00nyky_chu____________
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    sirpickellWienerTobogganMacar00ny
  • BrickShitHaus
      Brick @BrickShitHaus

    Where did I put my boomerang? I've looked everywhere but I ca-, oh wait I threw it into the neighbor's yard! It's all coming back to me now!

    • 6
    • FAVS
    CornOnTheGoblinfakegoldeggslacks_stacksqesuymoniquethegr8__WienerToboggan
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    mhrwzInc__Image_is_all______DillDoesWienerToboggan
@BrickShitHaus

@BrickShitHaus

Boobs.