Lurrrvvee. Love. Love. "Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet." -Bob Dylan

This should be a safe flight.  http://instagram.com/p/XxJOriN25Y/ 

I have a Beyoner.

3am wake up call convincing alarm methods.  http://instagr.am/p/USgRSWt28p/ 

"Is Rachel Lee Cook still alive? Who's Jason Aldean? Good, have her introduce him." -People's Choice Awards

I have the flu and my cat won't come near me so I'm probably near death.

Kudos Pitbull, you rhymed Kodak with Kodak. I can do that, do that.

There is a Victoria's Secret model named Doutzen. DOUTZEN, you guys. #VSFashionShow

Painting the city gold with @yakerezrie. #Macklemore @ First Avenue  http://instagr.am/p/SrKEION2_J/ 

I imagine warm chai tastes like unicorn pee. Somebody hold me.

My entire family thinks Samantha Steele is hotter than Blake Lively. I CAN'T HAVE THIS. #thanksgiving

On a scale from one to Alicia Keys, how bored is everyone right now?

If I ever pin a photo of a lettuce wrap I want you to know things aren't going OK for me

RT @jennyjohnsonhi5: The people crying at the DNC also think 'Days Of Our Lives' is a reality show. #DNC

I fit in a sample size dress so now I think I have a weird disease and I'm buying myself a gas station donut

Guns don't kill people, vans merging onto the highway at 5mph kill people.

Good heavens, he's your uncle not your gigolo. RT @britneyspears
Wishing my Uncle Happy Birthday...http://t.co/4VaEJZ5K

Dating someone has turned me into a matchmaking sensation and it's annoying as hell for everyone but me.

RT @chrisdelia: Yo pineapples, chill out with your shitty, spiky exterior. There's not 10 grand in you. You're just a pineapple.

Sometimes, to piss anyone off over thirty I sigh and say, "ugh, I'm getting so old" when a body part hurts (I'm 24)