Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
I hate to rub it in, but lotion doesn't really work otherwise.
People who are happy but don't quite know it are missing out on a TON of clapping.
#10WorstFeelings Getting drowned by dolphins you thought were your friends.
If I lived near the ocean I'd never get anything done. I'd just write messages in bottles all fucking day. And drink wine I guess bc bottles
I'll never forget the day my mom caught my dad arguing with another woman :(
It's funny when girls refer to themselves as "fuckable" because so are birdhouses.
Why put a "Please Don't Litter" sign on a garbage can? Wouldn't it make more sense to put it, like, I dunno, ANYWHERE ELSE?
Call me an adult one more time and I'm turning on my lava lamp.
Apparently 700 is where you level-up to more aggressive swarms of sexy spambots. This is like the worst video game ever made.
I understand you're happy to see me, but calling it 'a pleasure' only serves to make us both horny.
My body is a temple: full of lava, moving platforms, and bipedal, knife-wielding lizards. To clarify, my body is a temple from a Zelda game.
The GOP: God's Ovary Police
Style isn't easy. It takes dedication. For example, to do my hair, it takes approximately 6 hours of lying in bed dreaming about scorpions.
It's been a while now. We should probably start calling the New Testament the Old Testament too.
What does it mean to be "once, twice, three times a lady"? Are they implying several sex-change operations?
When the moon
Hits your eye
Like a big
You're on acid
(You're on acid)
Let's all stop using "cocksucker" as a negative thing before all the girls start thinking of it as a negative thing, k? Asking for a friend.
Parenthetically expressive. Fearless crosser of streets. Red-hot lover of science. Skeptical skeptic of everything. Enthusiastic haver of arms.