Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
In a text argument, whoever misspells first is the loser.
Ugly people are just human typos
Stairs are just paralyzed escalators.
Am I touching stuff or is stuff touching me?
Fact: Nobody's ever masturbated on an accident.
Sarcasm doesn't make you a stand-up comedian.
The difference between "to" and "too" is go fuck yourself.
Hey words, don't ever let Dictionaries define you.
Once people start retweeting me, that would be great.
Life is like a box of nothing. If you're too poor to afford the chocolate.
Seizures is just your internal organs partying.
In my line of experience, women love guys with croissant-looking moustaches.
"Hey, come outside, we're harmless." -beautiful days
Never complain and you'll succeed.
Are we really whispering or is there a tiny person screaming at the tip of our lips?
My alter ego has a bigger penis than me.
People, people, people. I'm so tired of breaking it down to you. If you're going to follow, inter-fucking-act with the people you follow!
Success comes with ego. Ego comes with asshole.
How many special places in hell do they have?
When I die, people should quit fucking because it is SO unfair that I am unable to.