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Did we ever find out about Cotton Eye Joe's seedy past? Where did he come from? But more importantly, where did he go?
I had an Uber driver the other night whose name was entirely made up of vowels. You had to orgasm to pronounce it.
The twist would see Maury be the father.
Like most people my age, I'm 28.
'Far From The Madding Crowd' should be renamed '119 Minutes Of Me Dreaming Of A Life Spent With Matthias Schoenaerts'
Watched a documentary on bears for 20 minutes, until I realised it was an interview with Robin Williams.
Jenny McCarthy's son called the cops over her txting while driving habit. She cures his autism and this is how he repays her? Unbelievable.
Probably the worst thing you can ask a writer is 'How's the writing going?' SHIT. IT'S SHIT. THE ANSWER WILL ALWAYS BE SHIT.
I never understood the allure of men who boast that they do weightlifting. Sure you can lift, bro, but can you tell a good Aristocrats joke?
Doing a juice cleanse with Capri Suns.
Cool Hand Luke is about to start. Not only a great movie, but probably something Darth Vader wanted to say to his son if they were speaking.
Oh, thank god. I can finally sleep easy now that Bono has apologized for the free album his band gave to the world for enjoyment.
Australian. Screenwriter. Script doctor. Former stand-up. Current sit-down. The product of Danny Kaye and a single malt.
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