i would fall for mr. big too

Guys... I've become a pro at screen shotting snap chats. I always thought it was a myth to do it but I figured it out. #itsallinthehips

#wcw is @katie_sko because she knows a woman's place is the kitchen and she's a bad ass beer pong partner 😝 pic.twitter.com/y0RINOTWLf

this whole not having a job thing just means i spend a lot of time eating in bed

I don't tell people I'm single because all you creeps are annoying af

Damn it has been awhile since i've downloaded music... aaah feels so good to be updated.

So my 'piñata for adults' filled with glass bottles of beer turned out to be a terrible idea.

Showing violet dissected cat videos telling her that's where she'll end up if she's not nice to me

*VIRTUAL BEAR HUG CUZ THEYRE LESS DANGEROUS* @h0tmessjess

Didn't realize how old I've gotten until a 19 year old hit on me 😒

I lost my virginity to my 7th grade gym shorts.

@brownthund3r Weed, $80. Yak, $40. Beer, $20. Renewing your lease last minute, just to fuck with a lame-ass roommate, Priceless.

If someone asked "when's the last time you had sex" and you have to think about it. It's been too Fucking long. Get yourself laid

These are my friends I come home to after work... And then I bite their heads off  http://instagram.com/p/ar-epuGEZ_/ 

20 dollars on pump 2? Yo mama on pump 2 lol *high fives everyone forever*

@brownthund3r lol we did a chest workout together!! I do everything :)

found a mysterious pack of camel crushes in my car and now i feel like i'm in a lizard lounge c. 2009 time warp

Mustard is my favorite Tard.

There's a whole mess of bitch made shit poppin off on here today, I remember when I respected some of you, I'm retarded.

Dicks are just in it for the sex.