Doing lines off my MacBook in the library. #sorrynotsorryy

Brian Wilson. #TheBeard #TheFannyPack #TheLegend #SFGParade #SFGLive #MissedYou!!! pic.twitter.com/c3In1FF7

I can't drink orange juice without vodka. #sorrynotsorryy.

this KIA commercial is EVERYTHINGGGG!

Give yourself permission to immediately walk away from anything that gives you bad vibes. There is no need to explain or make sense of it.

I see so many people going from "engaged" to "single" on Facebook. I'm just silently smirking and sipping my hot chocolate over here y'all.

RT @govgaryjohnson: We're into the real meat of the debate now: who's going to spend MORE on Medicare? #debate2012 #GaryJohnsonForPresident

40 minutes in I realize I'm doing Power Hour with a double shot glass. #sorrynotsorryy

I don't think I want to dip below 200lbs. Like, ever.

Olivia Pope made this all so very, very OK.

LACUNA COIL IS EVERYTHINGGGGG!

RETWEET THE RETWEET. RT @gaybrielgrey: THIS. RT @mjoeletsgo: I hate arguing, but I hate holding shit in.

@azealiabanks omg Banks, you can't just ask fat bitches to move their bacon backs...

.@mittromney mom jeans make it look like he got that OLD SCHOOL PUSSY. That VICE CITY MEOW MEOW. hahaha pic.twitter.com/r1MVtPCd

@johnnyboyxo the funniest part is "…………..no, Lil' Kim would not be in VIP." lmao #iDied

Just presented the #SFGiants with a Nimbus 2000 for SWEEPING the World Series! LMAO #BroomToTheCity #SFGParade #SFGLive pic.twitter.com/Q2Z3V715

IT'S CINCO DE MAYO!!!! I woke up horny and thirsty. Definitely getting arrested today.

Magic Johnson has accomplished more with AIDS than I have with seasonal allergies.

Sorry for mistaking your fat for an Adele costume.

First #90sNick, and now #MTV30?! Can I legally marry my cable box yet? #iMustBeDeadBecauseThisIsHeaven #SummerOfNostalgia #Summer2011