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A pregnant Peach is cooking for Mario. Her water breaks. Mario has a flashback of the water levels he went through & has a panic attack.
at the Hall of Justice,
Aquaman is throwing a hissy fit because no one has cleaned the aquarium in weeks.
No, I don't think you're stupid for believing in God. I think you believe in God because you're stupid.
was in the middle of taking piss when a cough storm hit. didn't have to clean up afterwards. true ninja
My ringtone is the Super Mario 1 theme song so I have a love/hate relationship with when my twitter time gets interrupted.
Didn't have to fake a headache tonight. I just bought him Halo 4.
Sometimes I think about going to the gym and then I laugh and laugh and take a nap.
Channing Tatum grew up like an older brother to Alex Pettyfer. It's like some guys are gravitationally pulled together.
That Weight Watchers commercial with Jessica Simpson certainly did the trick. I guess their new approach on weight loss is scare tactics.
Kirk Cameron can't keep his dick-sucker closed about gay issues for one day. He thinks about penises more than me. I have to up my game.
I never send a hand to do a mouths job.
I sexted my wife and she headachexted me back.
Beds should have wall dividers for those mornings when even earphones and a chainsaw won't drown out your annoying voice.
Its not gay if its on a dare.
If Spiderman's girlfriend doesn't sleep with her mouth closed she probably ends up swallowing him about 7 times a year.
Before you ask why someone hates you, ask yourself why you even give a fuck.
Superman finally took the hint from fashion-conscious Batman. That's why he's not wearing his underoos on the outside anymore.
Who knew being gay was an advantage on Twitter.