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Los Angeles: where rain is an excuse to cancel indoor plans
pretty amazing how these new credit cards with the chip can process the same transactions in just twice the time!
the Cinnabon social media guy must have glazed his pants when he saw Better Call Saul last night
in retrospect I shouldn't have worried so much about success changing me
when you realize you're rooting for the murderer/wifebeater team or the one QB'd by a rapist, what are you watching?
I heard someone say that the Kardashians are everything that's wrong with America and I was like you should probably read up on America
Fitness experts recommend interval training, so I've been doing 25 minutes of intense exercise followed by 8 days of rest
this never would have happened if reporters carried guns and microphones were guns and cameras were guns and guns for president
you can tell anyone you want to shut up if you preface it "with all due respect" or follow it with "and dance with me"
can't wait to meet my son, but I will miss this woman who likes cold A/C and fast food
if you didn't want your credit card data hacked you shouldn't have shopped at Home Depot, you sluts
all my jokes are now dad jokes
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