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the Cinnabon social media guy must have glazed his pants when he saw Better Call Saul last night
when you realize you're rooting for the murderer/wifebeater team or the one QB'd by a rapist, what are you watching?
Fitness experts recommend interval training, so I've been doing 25 minutes of intense exercise followed by 8 days of rest
if you didn't want your credit card data hacked you shouldn't have shopped at Home Depot, you sluts
guys i'm only 9790 followers away from my first 10k, please rt
Your Body Is Tomorrowland
with holidays officially over, I return to smoking weed in my living room instead of out of the window of my childhood bedroom
the moral of Elf is to believe in irrational things that make you feel good (see also: Christmas)
Pat Sajak should ask for an I and a Q
my wife is out of town so I'll have to ask the guy from the liquor store if he knows how to make dinner
what's your favorite day-after-Christmas carol? mine's still "Brick"
Selling my soul for fame the instant it becomes an option. (VISIT @westsidecomedy) (WATCH @MarkTwainAOL)
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