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@beerops How did the hipster burn his mouth? -- He drank coffee before it was cool.
I hate humans. #nftc
@dispatcherdame When you do get a break, go pee on his car.
It's kind of disturbing how many people don't know how to fold a piece of paper to fit in an envelope. #nftc
@cubicletroll Pee in them.
@journeyto30 TMI! We don't want to hear about your smokin' hot lattes!
@cubicletoast @journeyto30 All you *really* need are birth control & a credit card. And your glasses, if they are prescription. #traveltips
@srslyamusing :: happy dance :: @corkwithac
@flyoverjoel @ohnoshetwitnt @digiornopizza @tidycats I don't trust my cat with pizza -- she would eat it all.
@cubicletroll @journeyto30 I'll write a letter if you do. #SundayLiquorNow
@wigcannon @flyoverjoel Tweet for delicious pancakes.
I'd planned for today to be laundry day, but I think it's going to be nap day. 🏨
@journeyto30 @cubicletroll We want to hear from you. Don't go away.
@dispatcherdame But did you dispatch marshmallows?
@journeyto30 What if you slice your palm open and Sour Patch Kids pour out? @srslyamusing
@lostinthecube You're providing a valuable inanimate object function. #nftc
@journeyto30 Kudos to you. If I had a kale smoothie, I wouldn't be able to start it.
@kendragarden @flyoverjoel Facebook is still all middle-aged moms from this vantage...
Why, yes, I *am* looking at you.
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