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I'm on an international flight & a fat guy is blowing clouds of vape fog.. no one can stop him as it's legal to vape anywhere, & at any time
WIRED: ayahuasca-infused IPA
EXPIRED: human dignity for the poor
Moishe! The boy is right! Nowhere in the Torah is it written that a dog shall not play basketball!
I'm just a normie teen - Up at 2pm, bowl of Obama Pellets & spice rips for breakfast. Play Destiny for 8 hrs, more Obama Pellets for dinner.
The Blowfish attempted to overthrow Hootie in 1998, but the rebellion was quashed - with much loss of life
I want a beer that drinks like a soda. Beer isn't about getting drunk. 5% ABV is just too much. I'm a huge pussy and I love session beers
Police are on the lookout for a thane with the strength of 30 in his hand-grip
"We're going to cut part of your dick off. If you were stronger you could stop us. Let this be your first lesson" - Me at my nephew's bris
Claim: Swords can be enchanted
Status: False. While some swords show seemingly magical properties, in reality, only gems can be enchanted
The 3D printable Princess Toadstool pocket pussy I uploaded to Thingiverse is actually a honeypot that mangles your nerd dick
Time to brush off our fake medals & uniforms and head down to Outback Steakhouse
Gucci mane reinvested his rap profits into Guccidyne inc, which is now North America's largest manufacturer of precision ball bearings
My favorite genre of music is "20 minute chillout mix" where the album art is a hot babe ass
I predict that by the year 2018 all white collar jobs will be done by men floating in tanks of gasified spice melange
Life has gotten so much better now that I only wear shirts with my (rather astounding!) GRE score printed on the front
Swimming around in a pit of empty Natural Ice cans like Scrooge McDuck
There was a golden age, but now life is toilet
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