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Pretending It will lead to an orgy is the only way I make it through my weekly group therapy meetings
Dude the older I get the more I see how much time I've wasted. Now I fear I've missed my chance to throw knife's at circus skanks.
Porn is really just a "feel good" movie. Or show. Ok ten minute streaming Internet clip. Whatever.
My ex is such a skank, she has an honorary doctorate from the school of hard cocks.
Clean Living makes me want to die of gravy dipped emphysema.
Is "I'd pee in her butt" still the new "she's got a great body".
With as much as I know about girls they could all be considered wonder women.
All I want for Christmas is your legs wrapped around my neck like a cold weather scarf.
The term hate-fuck is so crass, I prefer hate-make-love, or hate-screw.
My fleshlight is bieng a real cunt. Must be that time of the month.
I love my mom so much, I'm going to get a picture of her and her c-section scar tattooed on my body, with "bitches get stitches" in cursive.
Even the guy that pumps shit houses, has to much dignity to do my job.
My new hat trick is sitting down to pee, deciding to poop and riding it out through a second pee.
At thirty three I'm finally coming into my own. Thought I was done with that once I lost my virginity.
Taking maternity leave to make a bunch of babies.
I've been turned down more times then the sheets at a holiday inn, and covered in just as much of my seamen.
Rohypnol, isopropyl, lavender, with a pinch of nutmeg. - Homebrew reciepe for Axe body spray.
I'm such a hairy monkey, I have to buy my manscaping tools at home improvment stores.
Self indulgent slightly masochistic frightened little school girl. Now for my bad qualities, honest descent loyal, all to a fault.