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Friends don't text friends at 6:30am.
“The tiger does not lose sleep over the opinion of sheep.”
"Good looks fade, but a bad personality is forever."
Gf: Want me to adjust scale in bathroom to tell u ur body fat?
Gf: U sure?
Me: No bcuz it’s gonna say,”Fatty get off of the scale”
Getting my knee iced right now and old lady in the waiting room is staring at me hard. Maybe she’s never seen a REAL lesbian before?
I appreciate everyone trying to help me find a skinny black tie!!! <3 <3
I kissed a man lol
It's weird when people talk loud in museums. Like hello, you're ruining my cultural experience.
I see the weekend on the horizon and it’s looking mighty good.
When shopping for produce is there a time limit where fondling a cucumber becomes perverse?
Off work now. Doing laundry. My life is so glamorous. NOT.
Know what torture is? 3 people singing out of tune in the car.
The Victoria Secrets Fashion Show is to lesbians what the Superbowl is to men. Woot! Woot! :-D
To all my new followers, welcome to my baking madness! If you're addicted to Nutella, you're in the right place. Come to mama lol
Baking my way into your heart one cupcake at a time. Butch lesbian writer & photographer.