Ariel is so hot with her lower fish body and flapper thingy.

Dude somebody shoot that thing PLEASE.

Abstinence makes the church grow fondlers.

I just saw lil Wayne waving the sign outside of Little Ceasars.

I've got one goal this weekend. Clean my car out. Then again there's always next weekend.

Judging by law and order... Being a detective is really fuckin easy.

Alright... I'm disrobed. Bring in the cheez wiz.

"Whats the difference between a mallard with a cold and u?Ones a sick duck and I dont remember the rest but ur mothers a whore" Sean Connery

I'm starting to get the feeling that lady gaga might like attention.

Feminism was invented so annoying women have something to do while they're busy not getting laid.

"the situation" is a stupid fucking nickname.

Can we play "just the tip"? What about "ouch ur on my hair?"

Either it's cold in here or I'm getting a severe case of smallcox.

Boredom makes my gooch itch.

From now on when someone says, "that's funny," but isn't laughing, I'm going to kick them in the shin.

Dude... If it was 1977... I STILL wouldn't like star wars!

Think about it... What would u do if video games, tv, and cocaine hadn't been invented yet? You'd wage war and conquer countries.

I like to tell old ppl I'll help them across the street then leave them right in the middle. They get confused with all the horns blowing.

U show me a guy who's never been fondled by an old lady in the back of an el Camino and I'll show u a guy who isn't me.

#ThingsWeNeedToChange Age of consent... VOTING AGE. I meant voting age.