its been twenty minutes since i woke up, haven't even gotten out of bed yet and i'm already pissed off about katherine heigl existing

It’s just a really good day to be black.

Thanks to Chris Brown receiving a Grammy, I now have another excuse to not give a shit about getting all my music from thepiratebay.

OH MY GOD I JUST ACCIDENTALLY TOOK A SIP OF MY PURE ACETONE NAIL REMOVER INSTEAD OF MY BOTTLE OF WATER

Here is a cat wearing a denim jacket at my job http://t.co/jygQ2qv0

How ‘Slut Shaming’ Has Been Written Into School Dress Codes Across The Country  http://thkpr.gs/12LoUl7  via @thinkprogress

OH. MY. GOD. LATOYA JACKSON CAME TO MY JOB AND DROPPED HER IPHONE IN THE TOILET YESTERDAY GOD I MISS EVERYTHING

Seriously, fuck Facebook for being worth a gazillion dollars but making what quite possibly is the shittiest iOS app ever. Embarrassing.

IF PARKS AND REC IS SERIOUSLY CANCELED I SWEAR I WILL CUT OUT MY INTESTINES AND HANG MYSELF WITH THEM

all hail Lady Gaga, the world's best IRL troll and performer and recording artist and person all around.

Anyone who says "Money doesn't buy happiness" needs to pull their head out of their diamond encrusted asshole and get a fucking clue.

New All-Time low: taking my birth control with a Tequila Sunrise.

Tupac raped a girl jsyk #ijustshitonyourparty

HOLY FUCKING SHIT THERE IS A NAKED MAN RUNNING AROUND THE TRAIN PLATFORM SCREAMING OMG HES CLIMBING A FENCE NOW OH MY GOD HIS DICK IS HUGE

IS THIS FUCKING SWINE SRSLY LAYING ACROSS THREE SEATS ON THE TRAIN EATING OUT OF A BUCKED OF FRIED CHICKEN AND CHEWING WITH HER MOUTH OPEN

THEYRE OPENING A PANERA BREAd IN MANHATTAN I REPEAT PANERA BREAD IS COMING TO MANHATTAN DROP EVERYTHING YOURE DOING AND THANK JESUS

I wish I was having sex right now.

totally just danced around my room to that amy tribute sung by ricky ricardo

http://t.co/F6XGxdw WHAT THE HELL IS THIS WITCHCRAFT

I literally cannot stop laughing at the names of the Facebook users commenting on this Maury announcement http://on.fb.me/nO3rjm