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I'm gonna ask my boyfriend if I can wear a Michael Myers mask when he does me from behind, but backwards with it facing him!
My dad used to tell me to shut the fuck up, now he complains that I don't call him. Make up your mind dick!
I'm a cunt, but I'm not a miserable cunt that wants to make you miserable, I'm a cunt that just doesn't care enough to make you happy.
My boyfriend owes me a dollar which I'm gonna tell him is his if he gives me some cunnilingus. Which will work cause he's part Jew.
My boyfriend is buying camouflage boxers so I won't see the rape when it's coming!
Barbara Streisand's Jew self singing Christmas songs is worse than a white person quoting Malcolm X.
You know what's better than "make up sex?" "You just got off your period so I'm gonna fuck you extra hard cause I missed that sex"
I've had alot of disappointing moments in my life, but still nothing tops killing a person in Grand Theft Auto & they have no money!
Is it wrong to think that if I was Kelly, that I would've let Zach Morris fuck me with his giant cell phone, and not his dick?
If my boyfriend ever breaks up with me, I'm gonna turn into a fisting dyke. I've been warming my arm up so I can win bitches!
FB bitch talking about doing a 5 year class reunion. Really? Who gives a fuck! All those assholes have kids & are on foodstamps! Fuck 'em!
Dear Dr. Phil,
Hearing your voice is gonna be the reason I snap. Shut the fuck up!
Me
I don't watch Mobwives, but by the commercials I think those Italians "Mobsters" are married to trannies!
I don't know if Clint Eastwood wants me to buy a car from Detroit or join the army. Either way I'm doing it if he plays 'Misty' for me!
I call my boyfriend names like 'Love Muffin' and he calls me names like 'Penis Mouth.' See we can be cute too.
My boyfriend put his boxers in my dresser. That's an invitation to put my finger in his butt right? If not, it is now!
One crazy sometimes funny sometimes bored sometimes stupid bitch!
