A German walks into a library and ask for a book on war. The librarian says "Fuck off you lost the last two"

Only gone & won a competition to go for a 5K run and meet @robbiesavage8 plus some free New Balance gear! Cheers @kitbaguk :D

07872919509 - phone number of the manc scum who thinks Hillsborough and 96 fans dieing is amusing #cunt

90% of girls who are suddenly buying 50 shades of Grey have probably never read a book in their life before! #sheep

Jason Manford's views on scum Kelvin, please RT football fans! #JFT96 #LFC #YNWA #Hillsborough #dontbuythesun #justice http://t.co/xOWQWwXB

Always remembered, never forgotten, you'll always be with me! #Justice #JFT96 #YNWA #LFC pic.twitter.com/4zjaw9Cv2P

Didn't realise how bad current "fashion" is until I went shopping for a shirt today, some right shockers!

Ashley Barnes banned for 7 games for barely "tripping" a referee...McManaman produces a career threatening tackle & gets nothing #ridiculous

Terrible decision by the FA not to charge McManaman, unbelievable

Wigan playing like Barcelona for 4 minutes right there

@grthdvd Pretty sure they told Fulham he wasn't leaving because they had no cover though, either that or it was a massive lie!

Imagine the sale on at QPR if they go down, relegation release clause party!

The sad demise of Michael Johnson  http://www.itv.com/sport/football/article/2013-01-15/the-sad-demise-of-michael-johnson/ … via @itvfootball

@xpoetix Good stuff mate

Couldn't pick a better entrance song, ever! #YNWA #Price

San Marino international football record; Played; 113 ... Won; 1 ... Drawn; 5 ... Lost; 107 ... Scored; 19 ... Conceded; 467 ... GD; -448

@jaeswift I remember on Bebo (back in the day), used to see him on every different girls profile tryna chat 'em up! #nonce

#WorstChatUpLines You remind me of my shin, because im gonna bang you against the coffee table

RT @fillwerrell Victoria Secrets having a 50% off bra sale... Too bad I like bras 100% off...

COUPONFROMEBAY - Use this voucher code on ebay before 10 tonight you can spend up to £5 for free through paypal! Doesnt cover P&P though!