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People that visit have already seen me naked or will eventually see me naked. What I'm trying to say is...naked.
I want to fuck a lumberjack.
I wonder if you would get tired of how entertaining I am.
I wonder if I would get tired of you.
I wonder who I'm talking to.
I wouldn't change a thing.
That makes me really, fucking happy.
Tonight is a good night for fucking in a tent.
Because I said so.
Three people today have brought bottles of Jager. I'm about to throw my own intervention.
My superpower is having men do anything I ask...
but the smart ones leave.
When life hands my landlord lemons he uses some for drinks and kicks the rest under the couch for me to find later.
Watching the garbageman pickup trash I think of two things...
1. He's good at doing dirty things with his hands.
2. I have low standards.
"Did I already say that?" portion of the evening.
I can't sleep. Sing me a song?
Tell me a story?
Give me a massage?
Someone tell this mouse I am not a jungle gym.
I want DM spam that says
"Can you believe this picture we found of your clean kitchen?!"
"I know you're jealous but I'd trade it all for an amazing night of sex.
Not with you.
Hopefully a good looking guy buys the house across the street.
I've been practicing my best, naked poses in the front window.
Sucessfully trapped a wasp in the washroom 'cause I'm a bad ass...
that won't be able to pee for days.
I really didnt think this through.
Sweaty sex with me is like your own personal slip 'n slide.
Now get off.
It's someone else's turn.
I like Jäger, I don't like clothes. Welcome to my real life. See you at the London, ON tweetup June 21-23 @tweetONeh