People that visit have already seen me naked or will eventually see me naked. What I'm trying to say is...naked.

@1stevilwench Construction workers, mechanics, firemen, FIREMEN! Lol

I want to fuck a lumberjack.

I wonder if you would get tired of how entertaining I am.

I wonder if I would get tired of you.

I wonder who I'm talking to.

I wouldn't change a thing.

That makes me really, fucking happy.

Tonight is a good night for fucking in a tent.

Because I said so.

Three people today have brought bottles of Jager. I'm about to throw my own intervention.

My superpower is having men do anything I ask...

but the smart ones leave.

When life hands my landlord lemons he uses some for drinks and kicks the rest under the couch for me to find later.

Thank you @themichaelrock for the ridiculous trophy! xo

Watching the garbageman pickup trash I think of two things...

1. He's good at doing dirty things with his hands.
2. I have low standards.

WhenIHaven'tSleptForDaysITalkReallyFastAndAllMyWordsGoTogetherWhichMeansI'mAlmostAtThe...

"Did I already say that?" portion of the evening.

I can't sleep. Sing me a song?
Tell me a story?
Give me a massage?
An orgasm?
A sandwich?

Someone tell this mouse I am not a jungle gym.

I want DM spam that says

"Can you believe this picture we found of your clean kitchen?!"

Sister text:

"I know you're jealous but I'd trade it all for an amazing night of sex.

Not with you.

No offence."

Hopefully a good looking guy buys the house across the street.

I've been practicing my best, naked poses in the front window.

Thanks @favstaroftheday @worley_7 for the trophy! That makes me feel a bit better about my stupid actions.

Check out  http://favstar.fm/users/worley_7 

Sucessfully trapped a wasp in the washroom 'cause I'm a bad ass...

that won't be able to pee for days.

I really didnt think this through.

Sweaty sex with me is like your own personal slip 'n slide.

Now get off.

It's someone else's turn.