Does anyone have a life I can borrow?

I really need to get one of those.

Ever get the feeling that today is NOT the day to go out into the real world?

Ever have a day where you just want to stay on the couch on twitter all day?


Oh yeah, that's all of us, every day around here.

It finally came back!

I wish I had someone go down on me as much as twitter does.

I just saw a woman at walmart with sweatpants that had " I'm Lucky" printed on her ass.


She wasn't.

Is anyone else here old enough to remember when SNL was really funny?

I love Monday's - I really do!

I get another 5 whole days to fuck things up in some pretty creative ways.

I have washboard abs and a weight lifters chest, but being a super hero, I have to keep them hidden - because, you know- bad guys.

Great! 4 beers, a pill and fell asleep. Woke up w/ blue vision, delayed backache and an erection.

That means I still have 3 hours - right?

I really need someone to do tonite.


Something - I mean something!

That woman at Walmart really liked me- I could tell when she got up from her hover round to show me "juicy" on her ass.

8-12. Coffee
12-4. Water
4-whenever. BEER


Sounds about right, doesn't it?

Hey Viagara - 4 hours? I had an erection once that lasted 4 years!

It was called High School.

This day has sucked hard - I need to find a fast woman & some beer*

*Sandwich and milk.

Taking a shower now, I've been very, very dirty today.......


Painting - I've been Painting!

Pervs....... I love it!

Sitting here eating baloney straight of of the bag, so yes ladies, I'm still available!

Hard to believe - I know

At a city HS graduation today. Booty shorts, wife beaters, fuck me heels, no bras.

Those were the grandparents.

Sometimes it seems like If it wasn't for Jack Daniels, Jim Beam and Evan Williams, I might not have any friends at all.

OK - so this day is really starting to suck.

I feel like playing hookey today.
Will one of you call in for me?
Just tell them that I don't give a fuck today.
They will understand.