@altcricket "The male G-spot has been found, and it’s on the middle of Sangakkara’s bat" - awesome line. Sanga is 1 classy dude

@stephenfry It may be but what about @sir_olly_c's treatment at the hands of the law by Bexley Council? Please support his case!

@altcricket No, please no, not yet. Rahul is a model pro who could teach the new generation a hell of a lot. It's not your time to go Rahul!

@altcricket "For years, Sehwag has worked his samosa wallah harder than his personal trainer" - I'm crying with laughter

Tomorrow remember D-Day. Take five minutes out from your day to remember those who fought and died on the Normandy beaches.

.@jamescleverly When is the Assembly going to stop kissing #Southeastern's arse & pass a vote of no confidence in their patjetic service?

Yes folks, upsetting a councillor now appears to be a criminal offence http://t.co/6PhD6N5V #FreeTheBexleyOne #CorruptBexleyCouncil

@countycricketkj If you had a mind like Warner's you would still be using crayons to write

.@davidcameron Why do you equate being gay with being a paedophile? Utterly disgusting from you Prime Minister, you should know better

@altcricket @pavilionopinion Excellent Radio Cricket. Kim Jong Nish? Are you ronery? *chuckles, ducks and heads for the door*

Bexley Council, scared of being exposed for the shysters they are now get @sir_olly_c nicked for upsetting a councillor #FreeTheBexleyOne

#cricketfilms V For Village

@altcricket I hear MCC members are moaning about ladies with bare shoulders and "toe cleavage" - WTF is that?

@georgedobell1 Shaun Tait would get injured before conception + again on the way to hospital

Read @altcricket's #GetLostXI, it is a work of genius  http://j.mp/getlostxi  #IPL

If Emma Way thinks she's entitled to knock cyclists off with her car then I'm entitled to knock sense into accountants using a cricket bat

The woman who hit a cyclist with her car in Norfolk is believed to be a trainee accountant. Says it all really  http://qurl.co.uk/xp3i 

What's Bravo done recently to deserve captaining the WI ODI side?

My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives

"Why, why why, Bopara?"