• G'Day!

    Please Sign In

    Favstar gets even better if you sign in.

    Here's why signing in is good for you.

    • You get a personalized view of Favstar based on the people you follow.
    • Your favs and retweets are collected instantly, meaning your status and stats get updated at blazing speeds.
    • Use lists to manage your friends, and keep on top of where the fav-love is happening.

    Your account is safe, of course!

    • We never see your twitter password.
    • We won't tweet or follow anyone without your permission.
    • We only use your API calls when you fav, retweet, or follow someone.
  • Carbosly
      Carbosly @Carbosly

    If you throw me in a meeting before I've had time to get myself a coffee, "no" is pretty much all you'll get out of me.

    • 8
    • FAVS
    keithlevMYLITTLEDOOMYericsshadowMoonshineOTRDoucheMcBaggusBlondAmbitionTOkingknock88Avatar_unknown_48
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    bobbyloverzBobyKSharmz
  • Carbosly
      Carbosly @Carbosly

    My ex's sexual prowess was like my dancing.
    One boring move, several speeds.

    • 15
    • FAVS
    SuzziesGashastutenewfTamiRaeShapleyYitryniwearaonesielucasmalfordkidjr72ABurgerADay
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    SuzziesGashTamiRaeShapleyKevo_jr
  • Carbosly
      Carbosly @Carbosly

    The best perk of being promoted is getting your own office to fart in peace.

    • 44
    • FAVS
    TamiRaeShapleyiwearaonesiehiimleswhiteroses222LoverOfComics94SassyChantelleJaySusHChristDaddyChronicle
    • 11
    • RETWEETS
    TamiRaeShapleyAmiigatwonderwomenmNo_not_that_oneDave_in_SoPoastutenewfMarlaLynchxmeddik
  • Carbosly
      Carbosly @Carbosly

    I knew I loved you before I met you.

    • 15
    • FAVS
    iwearaonesieBelle_Shellewhiteroses222LoverOfComics94caseyswife0625RyanofAvalonAZFilmFestRandomchkk
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    LoverOfComics94SocialBull2003bobbyloverzduff_girl_ohyeafleekistAvatar_unknown_48
  • Carbosly
      Carbosly @Carbosly

    *At a red light, looking at this man blow leaves all over the place.

    "YOUR BLOW JOB SUCKS!!!"

    *drives away slowly, whistling tunelessly.

    • 22
    • FAVS
    TamiRaeShapleySassyChantellechad_brothertonAmiigatih57452FatesBastardaKhalifa101faith4verlives
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    TamiRaeShapleyAmiigatTravisTrystBlaineKyRolltide_mn
  • Carbosly
      Carbosly @Carbosly

    Folding my pizza slice in half before eating it is the extent of my origami skillz.

    • 35
    • FAVS
    iwearaonesieLoverOfComics94chad_brothertonAmiigatRB_Anthonymobyhumpfaith4verliveshuntigula
    • 12
    • RETWEETS
    RoyalConcussioniwearaonesieAmiigatRB_Anthonyfaith4verlivesdwarph8TheCiscoKidderevildadatron
  • Carbosly
      Carbosly @Carbosly

    If you think "2 girls, 1 cup" was gross, you haven't seen my home movie of "1 girl, 1 pizza".

    • 36
    • FAVS
    iwearaonesienazilarrybirdCoLiN69Jfaith4verlivestexasstalkermomiTomFooleryAngela_Rose81evildadatron
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    brownm76evildadatronNaughtyFokkerspiraled_awayLousyBastard
  • Carbosly
      Carbosly @Carbosly

    If I were a computer hacker, I'd probably use my talent to reroute all pizza deliveries to my house.

    • 96
    • FAVS
    dizgingercelestinelea90iwearaonesieError_143dirtyfuzz5_0AnzacCanuckSami_theEMTSassySoMess
    • 49
    • RETWEETS
    RoyalConcussioniwearaonesieError_143Sami_theEMTc_hill815SmokeEater1978livliberatedMagoosback
  • Carbosly
      Carbosly @Carbosly

    Things can always be worse.
    Just remember, it could've been 2 cups, 1 girl.

    • 35
    • FAVS
    iwearaonesieCletusHammernazilarrybirdLoverOfComics94jkramblesGirrlGeniusPyroDegoblackpepperum
    • 14
    • RETWEETS
    LoverOfComics94GirrlGeniusIdeal_VictoriaAmiigatcjwatkins72allieareyouokRSF788CubanaMama82
  • Carbosly
      Carbosly @Carbosly

    This new diet is working out great.
    I've already lost the will to live.

    • 90
    • FAVS
    iwearaonesieJamonWintersKristinaperez17ninjadinosaur1aKhalifa101faircl30evildadatronEVILnSHIT
    • 36
    • RETWEETS
    faircl30evildadatronTheAlexNevilJuanSaltonmicheleannbdjenk24elphie052179BoobsMcCool
  • Carbosly
      Carbosly @Carbosly

    Netscape Explorer asking to be my default browser is like my boyfriend asking for anal sex.

    I admire your guts. But no fucking way.

    • 39
    • FAVS
    iwearaonesieericsshadowLoverOfComics94RyanofAvalonCmd7575JuanSaltondmt_studiosGoodBadThing
    • 11
    • RETWEETS
    LoverOfComics94GoodBadThingsenorlumpyconcretesledge_ClarkDoreyNaughtyFokkernv7281evildadatron
  • Carbosly
      Carbosly @Carbosly

    I've been shocked before, but never "drop my glass in the middle of a sentence" shocked.

    • 30
    • FAVS
    iwearaonesietexasstalkermomevildadatronLoverOfComics94CVTBabymo_vitalunaYitrynDishy2101
    • 10
    • RETWEETS
    evildadatronl0stinmydreamJasmineDaytonaGrillinChillin91evilidiotLa__RichardTravisTrystfleekist
  • Carbosly
      Carbosly @Carbosly

    Sorry, Toast. It's business, not personal. We just decided to cut the middle man.

    - meeting between Toast, Knife & Nutella.

    • 28
    • FAVS
    matthewbunztexasstalkermomericsshadowevildadatronHumor_Fetishdirtymoneydeldaniel_shawconcretesledge_
    • 14
    • RETWEETS
    matthewbunzevildadatronconcretesledge_NinsMumLoverOfComics94ClinicallyInsAvjethomesbryce963
  • Carbosly
      Carbosly @Carbosly

    "Hi. Does this chloroform smell like we're having sex tonight?"

    -my most successful pickup line

    • 40
    • FAVS
    iwearaonesieconcretesledge_ClarkDoreyMonstadOzolinsCoLiN69JShrewdSimiancaseyswife0625darrrkstarrr
    • 10
    • RETWEETS
    caseyswife0625darrrkstarrrClinicallyInsAvNaughtyFokkernicopretorius12GoodBadThingtongue_tied_oneForeverHairy
  • Carbosly
      Carbosly @Carbosly

    If I were in the army, simply having to deal with rationed portions would turn me into a force to be reckoned with.

    • 41
    • FAVS
    iwearaonesieconcretesledge_13spencerLoverOfComics94MsSScandalClinicallyInsAvlinalorevildadatron
    • 12
    • RETWEETS
    TrestresjolieLoverOfComics94ClinicallyInsAvevildadatronlittletinypino96bhhTheTalkingPipeClarkDorey
  • Carbosly
      Carbosly @Carbosly

    Men wanting to marry me, please form a line to the left. pic.twitter.com/s8dkwHZArA

    • 30
    • FAVS
    MoonshineOTRLerkyTobyDSmithevildadatronRandomManikkatiegorewaxerClarkDoreyVaginaEnvy
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    LerkyClarkDoreyverylightnosugabobbyloverzAvatar_unknown_48
  • Carbosly
      Carbosly @Carbosly

    It's Monday and I found chips & chocolate in the office kitchen.
    If anyone needs me, I'll be fat.

    • 54
    • FAVS
    ericsshadowdmt_studiosst0len_usernameHumor_Fetishevem3281daniel_shawconcretesledge_NinsMum
    • 7
    • RETWEETS
    st0len_usernameevem3281concretesledge_evildadatronTheSueBearsjs_coRobWeb79
  • Carbosly
      Carbosly @Carbosly

    It's all fun & games until someone flips the table.

    • 41
    • FAVS
    iwearaonesieaKhalifa101concretesledge_13spencerCatherineLMKGregHenchmanLoverOfComics94azigzaggylyss
    • 13
    • RETWEETS
    LoverOfComics94azigzaggylyssGoodBadThingmmabarbie007JaySusHChristNo_not_that_oneevildadatronM01_david
  • Carbosly
      Carbosly @Carbosly

    I have good hygiene, but not "brush my teeth at the office after eating lunch" good hygiene.

    • 43
    • FAVS
    concretesledge_buriedwithkidsLoverOfComics94NY_SweetiewhatdreamsmaygoJulieSnarkIdeal_VictoriaLoveMyScionFRS
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    NY_SweetieLoveMyScionFRSevildadatronLilbyrdyTravisTryst
  • Carbosly
      Carbosly @Carbosly

    Stephanie on FB wants to know if this week will ever end.

    IN JUST NOW: Carbosly on Twitter wants to know if Stephanie can STFU & die.

    • 48
    • FAVS
    iwearaonesieericsshadowHumor_Fetishconcretesledge_NinsMumShrewdSimianevildadatronpineappleiheart
    • 13
    • RETWEETS
    concretesledge_StiffAsABoard96evildadatronClarkDoreyDaveCombs72AmiigatLoverOfComics94graemecurrie11
@Carbosly

@Carbosly

I'm a mom, I'm a lover, I'm a hoot. I advertise by day & make cakes by night. Ask your dad if you can follow me. He does. http://favstar.fm/users/Carbosly