Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
The real problem with money is that the vast majority of it doesn't belong to me.
"Time to show our true colors."
My jeans are falling off, passively aggressively telling me I'm flat-assed.
Etc: used to indicate that more of the same might have been mentioned, but for brevity have been omitted.
Also, I ran out of fucking ideas.
Jogging pants are awesome until you wear them to actually go jogging.
I wonder if those people cannibals catch and cook in big pots with veggies floating around them ever shit & ruin the soup.
I think some of you need to be reminded of Twitter etiquette.
I make jokes.
Some of you laugh.
There are no dick pics involved.
My ex enrolled my kids in karate classes.
Like these little fuckers aren't scary enough.
All that glitters isn't gold.
Starting with glitter.
I never delete my tweets but when I post a bad one, I'll retweet pretty much anybody, burying that shit like a cat in its litter box.
I'm one of the few people that can pull having an orgasm & looking hot at the same time.
Practice does make perfect.
My life will not be complete until I divulge a mind blowing piece of information just before flying away in an helicopter.
I walked to the fridge to get an apple & found U2 hiding in my fruit compartment.
32 percent of heavy Facebook users consider leaving their spouse.
Pretty sure it jumps to 99.9 with heavy Twitter users.
I'm an expert in body language.
Guys that talk to me love me.
Guys that ignore me lie on the floor & die from multiple stab wounds.
I just sneezed 8 times in a row and I'm writing this tweet from outside my body.
I'm a mom, I'm a lover, I'm a hoot. I advertise by day & make cakes by night. Ask your dad if you can follow me. He does. http://favstar.fm/users/Carbosly