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  • Carbosly
      Carbosly @Carbosly

    I saw a spider on my ceiling and let it live*.

    *I ran away flapping my arms in the air & screaming, leaving a speed trail of smoke behind.

    • 18
    • LIKES
    okillfollowyouTheDemonClownabmowatchriscoombs668ford____prefectFred1BootSaltieOldManblurryfoto
    • 1
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    musculardog
  • Carbosly
      Carbosly @Carbosly

    All right. Going to bed now. I have to catch up on 11 years of sleep.

    • 17
    • LIKES
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    • 2
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  • Carbosly
      Carbosly @Carbosly

    Cake tweet
    Because what else would I do on a Friday night? pic.twitter.com/maII3QEXNb

    • 30
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    Mud409AndrewField100TheDemonClownford____prefectmtlbkarlwschweitzerSchwenns_CWillyFisterbox
    • 1
    • RETWEET
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  • Carbosly
      Carbosly @Carbosly

    That moment when kids find your lubricant & you say it's massage oil & you have to sit through being rubbed with Tropical Fruit Explosion.

    • 62
    • LIKES
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    • 17
    • RETWEETS
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  • Carbosly
      Carbosly @Carbosly

    I like to take showers twice a day. Once in the morning and once at night when I take Tupperware out of the dishwasher.

    • 35
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    • 12
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  • Carbosly
      Carbosly @Carbosly

    Sporting a side banana clip hairdo is the 1st of several bad decisions to be made today.

    *pulls up pants with "juicy" written on the ass.

    • 23
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  • Carbosly
     
    Carbosly @Carbosly

    @kitchenartist nope. Don't tap the beehive! ;)

    • 1
    • LIKE
    kitchenartist
  • Carbosly
      Carbosly @Carbosly

    Someone on FB just threw her son a full half-year birthday party in case you're wondering why I'm banging my head on the wall repeatedly.

    • 29
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    • 3
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  • Carbosly
      Carbosly @Carbosly

    When I hear martial art students scream, I just assume they're pissed off at hitting invisible shit all the time.

    • 17
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  • Carbosly
      Carbosly @Carbosly

    When the hell did eyebrows become so important? Slow down, people. I'm still struggling with the French manicure.

    • 42
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    • 12
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  • Carbosly
      Carbosly @Carbosly

    My favorite game is repeating confirmation codes using inappropriate words instead of the NATO phonetic alphabet.

    • 27
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  • Carbosly
      Carbosly @Carbosly

    11: (to 7) Have a cookie that mom & I made. They taste AMAZING.

    Me: How do you know? We haven't tasted them.

    11: They were made with love.

    • 22
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    • 2
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  • Carbosly
      Carbosly @Carbosly

    You can't beat your kids but nobody said anything about taking your sweet ass time breaking up their fights.

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  • Carbosly
      Carbosly @Carbosly

    If there's one thing kids have taught me is that if you have dinner at 5pm, there time to fit a whole new meal at 9pm.

    • 59
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  • Carbosly
      Carbosly @Carbosly

    "Bob, we don't have the money for another photo shoot."

    "Just use last year's picture. No one will notice."

    "Ok" pic.twitter.com/lu2yvt3r1V

    • 16
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    • 3
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  • Carbosly
      Carbosly @Carbosly

    Hello darkness my best friend.

    • 16
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  • Carbosly
      Carbosly @Carbosly

    Making my own garden this year because thug life.

    • 19
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  • Carbosly
      Carbosly @Carbosly

    I'm having tequila chicken because I believe the chicken would've wanted it that way.

    • 36
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  • Carbosly
      Carbosly @Carbosly

    My kid has totally mastered the art of multitasking. pic.twitter.com/HwHIomxhT0

    • 16
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  • Carbosly
      Carbosly @Carbosly

    "I thought I'd have my shit together by now."

    -Me, at 20, 25, 30, 35 and 40.

    • 84
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    nanasstarsadricastroCayenneKayanpatriotgyrl65NamemeAmylamsonemzeekedgeHuffPostParents
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Carbosly’s Newest Tweets

@Carbosly

@Carbosly

I'm a mother, I'm a lover. I advertise by day & make cakes by night. Ask your dad if you can follow me. He does. Yo soy french. http://favstar.fm/users/Carbosly

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