Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
I usually take my shower twice a day.
Once in the morning & once as I remove all the Tupperware from the dishwasher.
"Do you have a Twitter account?"
- Speed dating
If you don't believe in love at first sight, let me re-introduce myself.
Me, to coworker.
"You're like a ray of sunshine in the morning."
"Awww, I make you happy?"
"No, I can't look at you."
The good thing about eating your lunch before 9am is the ice cream doesn't have time to melt.
Im not really addicted to Twitter.
I'm a method actor researching a role.
No matter how good a guy looks on paper, it's how good he looks on your bed that really matters.
I'm sorry I pushed you out the window.
But in my defense, it was suppose to kill you, not hurt you.
If there's one skill I want to master, it's sharpening knives while maintaining eye contact with my kids.
My coworker is depressed because she missed her morning workout.
I'm depressed because I dropped my donut on the floor.
Is there anything you can't do?
My 7 yo asked me how Cleopatra died.
I told him she was bitten by a snake.
"Is the video available on YouTube?"
I removed my winter tires so I apologize in advance for the huge snowstorm that will hit us tomorrow.
The world is indeed a magical place.
Unfortunately just not magical enough for Avada Kedavra to work.
My kid bullshits his way through the alphabet.
He's ready for the real world.
I'm a mother, I'm a lover. I advertise by day & make cakes by night. Ask your dad if you can follow me. He does. Yo soy french. http://favstar.fm/users/Carbosly
Like @Carbosly’s tweets? Send them a Favstar Pro Membership to show you care.Gift them Pro!