Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
"This is your ass"
"Stop eating! I'm getting fat!"
-The only booty calls I get.
I don't always drink water at restaurants, but when I do, it's because I'm too cheap to buy a 3$ Coke.
I refuse to let my kids believe in Santa Claus so in our house, presents are vomited under the tree by unicorns.
Tonight's my work's Christmas party.
So tomorrow, i will most likely be promoted or looking for a new job, depending on who I fuck.
I don't understand why men expect us to look like models in magazines when they can't even perform like actors in pornos.
I have a love/hate relationship with you.
I'll push you down the stairs but install a comfy mattress at the bottom to break your fall.
Snowmen don't 69.
Hunger strike, but the other way around.
"Netflix, fridge, wine, phone, bed. Same as every fucking day."
-My bored elf on the shelf, reporting to Santa.
The best part about having sex with McDonald's employees is they always ask if I want to supersize my orgasms.
The best part about pregnant coworkers is that they eventually give birth and disappear for a year.
Being too lazy to cook is the best diet.
While waiting at red lights, people think I'm playing on my phone but I'm actually looking at my crotch.
Having sex with flavored condoms allows me to walk around with a tutti frutti pussy.
Last day of competition!
Go vote for my last 4 videos by clicking "j'adore" if it's not already done! :)
Some people make great entrances, I moonwalk my way out of every room, adding jazz hands to the mix.
Turns out playing pool is a great way to showcase both my ass and my boobs.
I'm a mom, I'm a lover, I'm a hoot. I advertise by day & make cakes by night. Ask your dad if you can follow me. He does. http://favstar.fm/users/Carbosly