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Sucking on boobs is awesome. Screw baseball, THAT is the national pastime.
Somedays it feels like a friggin' asshole parade plants its route right through my street.
Recent studies show that my desire to have fuck time with you are at an all-time high. More details on that study are in my pants.
Tony Romo is an amazing QB. Seriously, can any other QB get their team into FG territory with such consistency?
I've been way too predictable lately. I really must plan more random outbursts...
Pussy is the Nectar of the Gods. And if that's not available, I'm pretty sure coffee is a close second.
The quickest way for me to forget my troubles is for you to put your tongue in my mouth.
Three times and I still want more. Crave more. NEED more.
My mouth is known as the deal maker.
Laying in bed making googly eyes at each other and smiling like a fool. THAT.
Shopping at WalMart at 3 AM is no different from shopping at WalMart at 3 PM.
If you're in bed, not wearing a bra, and you're eating crackers, you can expect to receive several crumbshots.
Seriously, some mornings I look at my TL and wonder WTF?
I go back and re-read my tweets, then laugh my head off. I'm a 21st century narcissist, bitches.
Actions speak louder than words. Do what you mean, and mean what you do.
NSFW, self-proclaimed witty guy, master of the 6-strings, RT'n mofo, official proxy-fucker for @this503girl, I have a BA in ramble & justify. #EPluribusBoobum