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[teenage girl reading horoscope tweets]
"Scorpio's drink water when they're thirsty"
OMG THIS IS SO ME
dam girl are you a Horoscope Tweet, because you are annoying as shit
In case you ever think you're a bad ass, just remember I was once actually inspired by Taylor Swift to burn a picture of my ex boyfriend.
[ouija board made for dads]
"Spirits, im in need of help"
H I I N N E E D O F H E L P, I M D A D
"Oh damn this board is good"
I bought a new white long sleeve shirt today.
Translation: I bought a white shirt I'll only be able to wear once.
Don't star me bc of my looks. Star me bc I'm a clever, sarcastic mother fucker who works hard to think of some of these stupid ass tweets.