Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
You favstar guys are fucking funny. But i cant get over the fact YOU ARE IN AN ONLINE CULT
Its hard to be anorexic and an alcoholic. But i did really good with both last week.
I didn't do yoga today but my adorable outfit would suggest otherwise.
Twitter Olympics would never be held in Spain. Too much time for proper punctuation. ¡el niño!
Ive dated more gay men then a girl should. Its weird.
Its going to be gross one day when all our country's senior citizens are covered in tattoos.
Dear Stepmom, Happy Mothers Day. I just want your jewelry when you die. Love, The Nicer Stepdaughter
It's rude to leave a bar before you're asked.
I hope my cat doesn't kill the Lunesta butterfly when he finally flies in to kiss me good night.
Im a safety girl. No drinking and driving. Walk to the bar, find a one night stand to walk me home.
I just assume everyone who mentions bacon on twitter is fat.
Aww someone just sent me a text to say they saw me in a video dancing and I looked marvelous on that bar
I just did an almost math problem.
My manic drunkeness is fucking up my meds. I dont bring them with me and i haven't slept at home for awhile. Oh well. #justdance
If not for you weirdos tweeting about it I would not know what Tan Mom is.
So made my Ryan Gosling, Brad Pitt, Tom+++, MacGuyver bf breakfast in bed. Burnt waffles, runny eggs. I did good with the coffee and juice
So I'm the kind of babysitter that will bring your kids to a bar. They did ask to go there.
I wonder if your lives are really that bad. My TL and RL are the same. Mines really this good.
I'm going to put off that goal of making a meal this week. I'll try for next week.
Reason not having kids number 564- I struggle giving things up for lent. 9 months isn't happening.
Mother Nature's Princess. An American Doll. I spend most of my time in a hammock or a dress. Highly recommend the high life. The punchline is cat. Insta same