Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Instagram is autotune for ugly people.
if you receive a star from me for a tweet/tweets you did a year ago, please don't be alarmed. i'm simply in love with you.
hedonism. because life is my piece of cake and well, i might want to eat yours, too.
fave atom? lithium. fave Nirvana song? lithium. fave position? first orbital of electrons in the lithium atom, while listening to Lithium.
eating cheerios like a two year old because my survival-of-the-fittest hands are busy typing theory of evolution tweets
the sound of pizza dough being slapped against a work surface. can you picture it? good. now you're ready to hear me take my bra off.
who's everyone doing tonight?
people who abuse the grammatical limit of exclamation points: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! after 3, we fucking get it.
best way to truncate a shitty date is to tell him you're feeling yeasty
anyway, back to your boring ass tweets about vodka, high-fat foods, pharmaceuticals, and sex you're not having.
the little boy in my building who's in love with me said he'd give me swimming lessons. i'm at the pool now. he's not here. what an ass
i believe in science and facts, but i'm not that hard up my ass that i won't leave any room for wonder.
oh, shut up. you love Canadians.
nice job, you fucks who watch Jersey Shore. your short attention spans got a walking genital wart pregnant.
Nicki Minaj must be stored at room temperature to avoid melting.
I knock Tim Horton's a lot because I'm fucking sick of people going nuts over strong-brewed septic tank leaks.
if you're as annoyed as i am by girls who think it's cute when they say, "wouldn't you like to know..", then we're cool.
i feel bad for my future husband who will have written such gorgeous vows for me. all i have is "i am going to marry you SO hard right now."
*to Alan Thicke* "DAAAAAD. Kirk's being a homophobic asshole again."
and on the 7th day, god made you a fucking idiot.
Peasant, please. Portrait Artist. Instagram: CasaDeJas. Making love in Outer Space and all over the place with @IKEDELIC.