I just fell out of bed and am ok. Pretty epic. Anybody have a fall today that can beat that? I didn't think so. #Triumphant

Can anybody tell me WHY the Michelin Man (who is made of tires) is white??

Remember the NHL b4 GaryBettman? When Hockey just happened every year, and Lockouts never happened?Remember? That's when hockey was great.

I saw a picture of #RobFord with 2 Black dudes, now everybody is saying he's a cracker? Is that what's going on?

sorry to hear about the Batman shooting, but I am curious how South Park will deal with this.

I don't care what the fashion police say. Today I'm wearing white pants and that is that.

If the Littlest Hobo was such a great dog, Why didn't anybody keep him? #questionsthatneedanswers

I would only open a Ford Dealership if my last name was Harrison.Then people would be like, "where didya buy that car?" "from Harrison Ford"

I've changed my pic on my header on here to show support for my favourite hockey team. #Isles During their playoff run. #BecauseItsTheCup

Hey all, I've been involved in a twitter war on here. Feel free to read along and try to make sense out of nothing.

NHL's back, perhaps it's time for the fans to go on strike. Too bad that won't happen though. #NHLstillsucks

@thatkevinsmith it's cool that your 99th smodcast is about Hockey. Can't wait to listen. Don't forget to put @boomer_phillips in it.

Check out the latest from my friends in the UK. A parody of #UNDERCOVERBOSS http://t.co/RwyB4nAz If you like it, RT.

I just read that @jayleno has no vices. Oh really? How about denim?

#CanadaPost is putting out a new stamp featuring the band #RUSH. I wonder if these stamps will help the mail move faster?

I'm looking forward to checking out #ElectricSix tomorrow night here in #Toronto at the legendary #HorseshoeTavern. I'll have a 50 please!

I think my pot dealer used to work @mcdonalds because every time I buy some weed, he's all like, "do you want coke with that." No thanks.

when I see a fat arse in yoga pants, I always think, "they should be called Yogurt Pants." #notmyroommate

OK "insert random store" I'll pay 5cents for your plastic bag, But I actually charge 30cents to carry ur advertising, so u owe me a quarter.

Dammit, I left my keys in my car. Well then, I guess a new #Lockout begins. #NHL
#stillpissed