I found a way to quit drinking soda.. pic.twitter.com/t4TEbIFoLE

FOR SALE: MOTORCYCLE. FOUND DURING A TRAFFIC STOP. WHITE WITH BLUE LIGHTS. VERY FAST.

*rolls back windows down and pretends it's bass

We were play with a dead animal poor.

Remember your name? Good luck with that shit.

Look at the bright side.. We'll start to lose daylight in 5 weeks..

Current.. pic.twitter.com/lgFgKrbN1U

Happy pass mommy the ashtray day.

Try asking your girlfriend for one of her "world famous BJ's" and let me know how that goes.

There's shit on your deck.

Russian roulette with a flair gun.

Using blinkers.

Talking out of my balls.

pic.twitter.com/CJMsQ5dwIX

When you look consequence in the eye and smile.

Higher than a bike.

Why stir the pot when you can smoke it?

Don't pray for me. I've got enough problems.

WTF is the point of twitter when I delete half the shit I write?

Spanks, but no spanks.