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Chinese with an irish accent please.
That I forgot a baby in the oven.
Went to watch waves crash on the shore and forgot Lake Superior was frozen.
I found a 12" nipple hair on the ground. SCORE.
A parking ticket while paying a parking ticket.
I can't hit a stud straight to save my life. No homo.
Bought dollar menu shit with change like a mother fucking adult.
Paid vacation = Welfare
If your kid smells like cat pee, FUCK YOU.
Asking a midget for directions.
God Hates Freds.
Feeding boogers to the dog.
WANTED: Driver - Must be willing to operate a 1995 oldsmobile cutlass supreme.
404 Error: 777 not found.
The soothing sounds of a broken motor mount.
Play dough poop factory.
Buying a lesbian and turning into a subaru.
Gold plated turds is the theme.
If I put my mind to it I can't accomplish anything.