Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Nothing like fresh gummy bear meat.
Cousin is leaving in 1 hour for his 4th tour. Crying like a bitch. Hoping I said everything I needed to. Fawk. This never gets easier.
Called sex Loading The Dish Washer.
Can I sleep on your couch for a month?
Home sweet, whatever.
Fought with the girlfriend last night. Woke up to anal. Hopefully we use her butt next time.
Started skipping in preschool and I turned out just fine.
Reward points for welfare users purchasing condoms.
It's easier to piss on the wall and wipe the floor dry with my socks.
Not embarrassed because astronaut diaper.
Finger cookie. It's like a fortune cookie but there's a delicious finger inside.
I just ate a fortune cookie. Paper and all.
Whenever I miss moms cooking I microwave pizza rolls.
Flossing with feces.
Chinese with an irish accent please.