Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Buying a lesbian and turning into a subaru.
Gold plated turds is the theme.
If I put my mind to it I can't accomplish anything.
According to the government its ok to be a worthless POS and collect a free check. Seems legit.
Don't go to a Lil Debby show. She only knows three songs.
Trading clean urine for $20.
Traded weed and lighter for clean urine.
Traded my 6 pack for weed and a lighter.
9 year old girl said I disappoint her so I proved she was right.
Bitches love being right.
Heavy petting zoo.
"If you take a dump on the Enterprise Holo-deck, will there be a turd on the floor when the simulation ends?"
Anybody try snorting an orange?
If it ain't one cold it's a mother fucking 'nother.
Word to my oj, nyquil, and robitussin.
My top tweet is a bottom bitch.
I keep crop dusting my car. Probably should cut the roof off.