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"What if the princess WANTS to be with Boswer but Mario keeps kidnapping her?" - my 13yo.
"Ugh. Cyber Mondays." - Internet savvy Garfield
I just committed suicide. April Fools! I'm doing it later today.
John Lennon wrote terrible Christmas music.
If I was Hitler, I'd have been working on a time machine so I could go back and make sure no one ever builds any time machines.
When your child w/ #aspergers is acting out, it really is useless to shout "WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS ?" but it feels good anyways.
I keep writing Anderson Cooper Not Gay on all my checks.
"I would've gotten away with it too, if not for you meddling invisible kids!" - Old Man Joseph Kony. #stopkony
I envy Uncle Ruslan a little. I wish I could be in a press conference where I can call a couple of my relatives losers.
EVERYBODY WRITING CHECKS: Remember, it is now 2012. You can all stop using checks.
BREAKING: Lady Gaga to wear Amy Winehouse at MTV VMA's
Stay at home dad. Podcaster. Writer. Comedy type person. What else. . . Um, I threw together an ebook once.