@CheVolay's (Che Volay) recent favourites. See who @CheVolay favs the most...
The fatter I get, the more lingerie I buy. If I stitch the pieces together they might cover half my ass.
Boss asked how to spell Sarcasm yesterday. So I spelled it & he asks "Are you Sure?" ..... "Um, no."
Thought he might need an example too.
Thought he might need an example too.
Running errands to pick up new twitter followers:
1. DMV
2. Starbucks
3. Your mom's house
4. Unemployment office
5. Bacon aisle
1. DMV
2. Starbucks
3. Your mom's house
4. Unemployment office
5. Bacon aisle
I could totally go for a Megaburger right now if it didn't mean having to put up with all of Nat's bullshit. #PeachPit
5
LADY AT THE DOOR: Good morning. Have you found Jesus?
ME: He's missing?! IT WAS YOUR DAY TO WATCH HIM.
ME: He's missing?! IT WAS YOUR DAY TO WATCH HIM.
"No Sicilian can refuse any request on his daughter's graduation day from DeVry institute." #1stdraftGodfather
8
Sooo, been at the DMV for an hour. Finally leaving. And like only two of you responded to my plea for company. Fuckers.
3
Dear handsome teen in your tight high school affilated shirt: I've imagined our sexual encounter before considering the legal ramifications.
I *had* to order a milkshake, otherwise I wouldn't have made the minimum for a credit card. Shut up.
Dear kids watching tv, if you really want to go to the park you need to bring me some clothes and put my shoes on. & fetch my sunglasses.
2
Everyone exercising in the middle of a sunny afternoon raise yer hands. Now everybody drinking alcohol raise yer empty hand. Just nod then.
3
If I can't get laid I'm going right to being gay. Drinking Bacardi Strawberry, now who wants some dick?
7
When I was gainfully employed, time moved so slowly. Now that I'm mostly unemployed, time moves at warp speed. Well played, Father time.
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