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@ChiNurse's most faved Tweets...
ChiNurse
Cuntsequences: The blowback after being a spectacular bitch.
@ChiNurse
ChiNurse
If they were real super market employees, they would be wearing capes.
@ChiNurse
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ChiNurse
Realized today that going to the dentist is just like going to the gynecologist only upside-down.
@ChiNurse
ChiNurse
This new deodorant is "motion activated". We may have a problem.
@ChiNurse
ChiNurse
You call it a bra, I call it a catcher's mitt. Helloooo, muffin crumbs.
@ChiNurse
ChiNurse
I am not loud and clumsy. It's called echolocation, jerk.
@ChiNurse
ChiNurse
It's a special day when the outside temperature is nearly as cold as my heart.
@ChiNurse
ChiNurse
It's time to put on my tube top and heels to go check that thumping noise in the basement. BRB.
@ChiNurse
ChiNurse
I meant to wear my cloak of invisibility, but I grabbed inevitability instead. This explains the photos.
@ChiNurse
ChiNurse
Night comes early now, just like my ex.
@ChiNurse
ChiNurse
The problem with buying drugs from squirrels is they forget where they bury them.
@ChiNurse
ChiNurse
You'd like to have a one-sided relationship? No problem. I'll be over here while you go fuck yourself.
@ChiNurse
ChiNurse
When I think about you I star myself.
@ChiNurse
ChiNurse
Something about Tom Cruise makes me want to kick him to his home planet.
@ChiNurse
ChiNurse
Sometimes all you need is to be reminded that someone else thinks you can do it.
@ChiNurse
ChiNurse
I'm the girl your mother bored you about.
@ChiNurse
ChiNurse
"Will you taste this milk? It smells rotten to me." That's what marriage is all about, folks.
@ChiNurse
ChiNurse
I'd like ranch dressing better if the belt buckles weren't so fucking heavy.
@ChiNurse
ChiNurse
I'm so old I remember when having pubic hair meant you were an adult, not that you needed a waxing appt.
@ChiNurse
ChiNurse
I hope I die with shaved legs and an empty colon.
@ChiNurse
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