Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
If even Heidi Klum and Seal can't make it, the world is gonna need a lot more cats for us all to grow old with.
Let's cram this week in a crate and light it on fire and shoot it into the future as a warning.
I JUST SAW A MARRIAGE PROPOSAL HAPPEN IN A MOVIE THEATER LOBBY AFTER A "TWILIGHT" SHOWING.
"It" actually doesn't "get better," because when you're an adult, you have to use Excel every day.
I bet there are some VERY pissed Jews that just got their power turned on 30 minutes before sunset on a Friday.
Fine, everyone can join my gay army. It's an army where we don't conduct illegal, bankrupting wars! (Also lots of baking.)
Goodnight flashlight. Goodnight go bag. Goodnight bathtub of water. Goodnight oblivious cats.
Anyway, thank god I got gay-married last year, when it was still cool and underground.
Currently writing a very tiny "restrictions" amendment on the donor box of my drivers license. #nocheneys
This week is ending and none of us hired that amazing sorority person, we should all p ourselves in the c.
It's terrible, watching a couple billion people learn how to not be an asshole on the Internet, one at a time.
I always forget until snowstorms how deeply I root for the destruction of Boston.
If your web boss tells you to blog on a Tumblr because they can't get a server, call in dead. It's a scam!
Fake text message screenshot dialogue jokes are the lowest form of humor.