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Gmail is down right now. If anybody needs to email me, just send it to my Dad's AOL account, then he'll pass it along as part of a mass FWD.
I'm not sure what my sleep number is. But my mambo number is 5.
Rick Santorum referred to pregnancy caused by rape as "a gift in a very broken way." Hope he's not my secret santa next year.
OJ Mayo makes a way better NBA basketball player than he would a menu item.
Did you know that Jay-Z's full name is JayKLMNOPQRSTUVWXY-Z? #FactsWithoutWikipedia
If Aerosmith were any more rock'n'roll, they'd be Hanson.
I long for the good old days when a guy could make love to his tonic and gin at a bar and a pop star would write a song about it.
I can tell how fat someone is just by looking at them.
Tribal people with fraternity tattoos.
Legend at my college had it that if you stood on the crest on campus and kissed your girlfriend, people would point & call you a douchebag.
If I have such an outstanding balance, then STOP sending me mail about it!
I like jokes. And music. And #CBJ hockey. I'm an advertising copywriter.
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